Evangelion Next Genesis
by SubZeroGreymon
Summary: We all know Evangelion... but what if Shinji was a much different type of crazy?
1. Ch 1, Act I  ANGEL!

Evangelion Next Genesis  
Ch. 1: You are (Most Likely Not) Alone  
Act I: ANGEL!

"I'm sorry. Your call could not be completed. Please hang up and try again."

"Seriously?" A brown-haired boy about 14 groaned, "Who the hell keeps interrupting my phone calls and stops them from being completed!"

And suddenly, his answer presented itself - a giant, darkish green humanoid monster with a beaked skull face... thing.

"Whoa," The boy noted.

As the monster rampaged, the boy smirked.

"Today just got a bit more interesting..."

Suddenly, a blue car stopped right in front of him. The door opened, revealing a purple-haired woman with sunglasses.

"Shinji Ikari, I presume?" The woman smirked.

"Best. Day. Ever," the boy replied, "I mean, yes."

"Misato Katsuragi," The woman replied, "Sorry, I'm late."  


* * *

One speedy drive later, and Misato and Shinji make it to the mysterious underground complex.

"Welcome to the New Earth Revival Ventures company. Also known as NERV," Misato smirked, "This is NERV HQ, the key in the effort to rebuild our world, and ensure our place in it."

"So, let me get this straight," Shinji observed, "I meet a hot girl in the middle of a giant monster attack, and she works for an organization meant to preserve all mankind?"

"Yeah, pretty much," Misato replied, crossing her arms.

"Best. Day. Ever," Shinji repeats, "How can this day get any cooler?"

As they walk into the next room, Shinji notices a giant robotic humanoid. Purple armor. Shoulder fins. A horn.

"BEST. **DAY. _EVER,_**" Shinji smiles almost madly.

"Hey, Ritsuko, we're here!" Misato shouted to a blonde woman in a labcoat standing nearby.

"About time," Ritsuko Akagi groaned, "And I suppose THIS is the Third Child."

"Third Child?" Shinji snapped out of his almost crazy look, "I'm no child! I'm more manly then anybody else! **_My manliness will pierce the heavens themselves!_**"

"... He's a Gurren Lagann fanboy, I take it," Ritsuko blinked.

"Yeah, I don't know either," Misato sighed.

"The hell's Gurren Lagann?"  


* * *

As the monster rampaged outside, Gendo Ikari, a man with gloves, glasses, and a stern look on his face, sat waiting at a table on top of a large... thing.

"Misato Katsuragi has arrived with the Third Child," an old man named Kozo Fuyutsuki spoke.

"About time, too," Gendo smirked, "Project Eva is underway."  


* * *

"So, lemme get this straight," Shinji blinked, "You expect me to fight this monster, which you refer to as an Angel, using this... Evangelion, as you call it?"

"Yes," Ritsuko replied, "We found that it seemed to respond best to your genetic template."

"... As I said before, Best. Day. EVER. In ALL. Of HISTORY," Shinji replied, "But wait... didn't my DAD send the invitation?"

"Correct," A voice spoke. Everyone looked up to see Gendo Ikari standing nearby, above some stairs, "Been a long time, Shinji."

"... Who are you?" Shinji asked, causing everyone to groan intensely.

"It's me, your dad," Gendo replied.

"You're my dad?" Shinji asked, "You look more like a pedophile."

"WHAT?" Gendo ran down the stairs, murderous intentions written on his own face.

"MY VIRGINITY REGRETS NOTHING!" Shinji ran away, with Gendo in pursuit.

"Yep, father and son, alright," Misato sighed.

* * *

After Shinji's 'whipping,' and after they got Shinji into a plugsuit, they headed back towards the room where the Eva was, riding a platform up to the walkway that went around to the Eva's back. Misato led Shinji over to it, where techntions were preparing the cockpit.

Ritsuko stepped towards them. "Shinji, you need to wear these," she said, holding out a pair of hair clips. "The Eva works by mental commands, and these A-10 clips will boost your mental waves to improve synchronization."

"A robot that works by means of mere thought," Shinji observed, "So, I can command it to grow a drill on his arm, and it'll do that?"

"... No," Ritsuko replied, "No, it will not."  


* * *

As the once-black eyes glowed blue, the Eva was transported to a launching deck.

"Evangelion Unit 01 has been transported to the launching deck," A operator spoke.

"Launch!" Misato ordered, and watched as the Eva was transported to the surface.

**_To Be Continued_**


	2. Ch 1, Act II BERSERK!

Evangelion Next Genesis  
Ch. 1: You are (Most Likely Not) Alone  
Act II: BERSERK!

The entity that humanity had dubbed 'the Third Angel' gazed upon the mass of metal and rock that was known as Tokyo-3. Senses extended, seeing and perceiving on levels beyond those of any organism on Earth.

'Now, where could you be?' The Third Angel thought to himself.

"Hey, Ugly!" A voice rang out. The Angel turned to see a giant purple creature approaching him.

"Yeah, I'm talking to you!" The voice shouted, "You may be big, but the bigger they are..."

The Angel sighted a sharp metallic object in the creature's hand.

"The harder they die when I kill them."

The Angel stood there a moment, then facepalmed.

'Seriously, I may not speak the Lilim Tongue, but I KNOW that isn't good grammer,' The Angel growled in a language no human could comprehend.

"So, why doncha speak your name?" The creature growled.

'VERY WELL,' The Angel thoughtspoke, 'I am the Angel of Water. My power rages like the tide. I am the Third of my Kind. I am Sachiel. I have arrived.'

"Oh, a Badass Boast?" The creature spoke again, "Here's mine. My name is Ikari. I'm Fourteen Years of Age. This is Evangelion 01. Or as I like to call it..."

The 'Evangelion' charged at Sachiel, the metal spike ready to pierce the core.

"... my BOOMSTICK!"

One quick movement by Sachiel got the Evangelion off guard. Tripping up the Evangelion with a pair of laser spikes, Sachiel watched the creature fall to his feet. Kicking the Evangelion over, Sachiel lasered the left eye, watched the blue eyes fade to black, then retracted his laser and walked off, back on his mission.

'That Ikari,' Sachiel thought to himself, 'What a fool.'

Suddenly, the Evangelion's remaining eye blinked red. The Evangelion rose to its feet, and opened a mouth full of sharp fangs. Sachiel turned to see its foe arise again.

'Oh,' Sachiel thought.

The Evangelion roared, charging toward the Angel of Water, red eye narrowing.

'Oh,' Sachiel thought.

A spire of AT Field energy surrounded the Evangelion's arm, pointed toward Sachiel's core.

'Oh,' Sachiel thought.

And the AT Field Drill pierced his core.

'Oh,' Sachiel thought, 'F*ck.'

And so, the Angel exploded into the lifeblood it was spawned from.  


* * *

Shinji's eyes snapped open.

"GAH!" Shinji screamed, "MY EYE! IT GOT MY EYE!"

Poking the eye, Shinji realized it was still there.

"What... happened?" Shinji thought.

"Ah, you're awake," A voice spoke.

Shinji turned to see non other then Misato, sitting nearby, with a magazine in her hand.

"What the heck happened back there?" Shinji asked, "Why is my eye still here?"

"Sync Ratio was at 70%," Misato replied, "You felt the injuries, but didn't experience them."

"So, how'd we beat the Angel?"

"Eva went berserk," Misato replied, "The Angel's gone."

"Oh... so my Eva can act on its own?" Shinji asked.

Misato nodded.

"Cool..." Shinji smiled.  


* * *

"How is he?"

"Doing very well," Misato replied, "He wasn't scared by the Eva going Berserk, so that's good."

"I feel he is not yet ready."

"You're always so sure of that," Misato replied.

"Indeed," the pilot of Eva 00, Rei Ayanami, responded, "Indeed..."

**_To Be Continued_**


	3. Ch 1, Act III CLASSMATES!

Evangelion Next Genesis  
Ch. 1: You are (Most Likely Not) Alone  
Act III: CLASSMATES!

"Nice place," Shinji commented, "Misato, I gotta admit, your place is nice and roomy... if a bit cluttered. Perfect for a person like you."

"You really think so?" Misato popped a can of beer open, "And I thought the uptight act fooled people well enough."

"Please," Shinji sighed, "I've been deceived enough so that I can tell when someone's lying and when they aren't. My mind is the one that can piece the illusions of the deceitful, like a drill piercing the heavens."

"Okay, now I KNOW you watch Gurren Lagann," Misato replied.

"Only a few episodes," Shinji replied, shrugging.

Misato smiled. 'Guy's being honest,' she thought, 'That oughta earn him a few friends...'

"Oh, by the way..."

"Eh?"

"Why do you have PenPen?" Shinji pointed to what appeared to be a Rockhopper Penguin nearby.

"Because everything's better with penguins!" Misato replied with a smile.  


* * *

"Do the impossible, see the invisible," Shinji sung to himself, "Row Row Fight da Powah..."

"Hey, you!"

Shinji turned to the voice... only for a fist to make contact to his face.

"OW, MY FACE!" Shinji shouted in pain, grabbing the hurt area.

"Sorry," The fist's owner spoke, "Just had an anger issue there. Didn't feel right if I didn't."

"Who..." Shinji growled, "Are you to do that?"

"My name is Touji Suzuhara," The boy replied, "You nearly killed my sister. Prepare to die..."

"Wait, what?" Shinji replied, "I only moved here yesterday! I didn't do a damn thing!"

"Hey, I gotta apologize to you," A blonde guy with glasses spoke, "His sister got hurt by all the commotion that happened a few days ago. Kensuke Aida, Nice to meet you, Mr. Mecha Pilot Dude!"

"Shinji Ikari," Shinji replied, "Wait... Whatcha Talkin' About, Aida?"

"You're the pilot of that giant robot, right?"

"Who told you?"  


* * *

During Lunch that day, Shinji stood on the roof of the school, contemplating.

"How were those guys able to figure out my Status as an Eva Pilot so quickly?" Shinji asked himself.  


* * *

_"Oh, a Badass Boast?" The creature spoke again, "Here's mine. My name is Ikari. I'm Fourteen Years of Age. This is Evangelion 01. Or as I like to call it..."_

_The 'Evangelion' charged at Sachiel, the metal spike ready to pierce the core._

_"... my BOOMSTICK!"_  


* * *

"Oh, yeah," Shinji noted, "Geez."

"Mr. Ikari?"

Shinji turned to the owner of the voice. It was a girl. Red eyes, and light-blue hair done in a shorter style then most.

"There has been a summons," The girl spoke, "A new Angel has emerged."

Shinji watched her go, then turned to the sea. There, just on the horizon...

A giant beast resembling a fusion of a tadpole and a crab of some sort was approaching.

The 4th Angel has arrived.

'I am The Angel of the Morning. My power shines like a morning star. I am the Fourth of my kind. I am Shamshel. I am here...'

**_To Be Continued_**


	4. Ch 1 Act IV: DESTRUCTION!

Evangelion Next Genesis  
Ch. 1: You are (Most Likely Not) Alone  
Act IV: DESTRUCTION!

"ATTENTION ALL TOKYO-3 RESIDENTS. AN ANGEL HAS BEEN SIGHTED APPROACHING TOKYO-3. ALL RESIDENTS ARE TO REPORT TO THE NEAREST SHELTER."

It was the 30th time that message sounded. Everyone not involved with NERV had already gotten into the shelters. All but two.

"C'mon! The battle's starting!" Kensuke Aida shouted from the top of an extremely tall hill.

"Wait up!" Touji shouted from about halfway up the stairs that led up there.  


* * *

"Evangelion restraints deactivated!"

"The Angel has approached the area!"

"Time to pierce the Angel back to the heavens!"

"Evangelion Unit 01 - LAUNCH!"  


* * *

"And now... the main event!" Kensuke smirked, "Time to see if last time wasn't a fluke!"

"Geez, Aida," Touji sighed, "Might as well see this."  


* * *

"Okay, Shinji," Misato spoke over the radio, "We're gonna take it by surprise, so you have an opportunity to shoot the core while it's caught unawares."

Shinji rolled his eyes, and watched the door open.

"Take it by surprise," Shinji sighed, "Not my style, but it'll-"

And then, a whip made of pure light wrapped around his leg, and threw him into a nearby building.

"AHHHH!" Shinji screamed, "TENTACLE RAPE! GODDAMMIT!"

A claw grabbed the Evangelion and threw it into a nearby hill - right where Kensuke and Touji were standing.

Shaking his head, Shinji noticed a pair of familiar faces in the corner of his eye.  


* * *

"Two of Shinji's Classmates?" Misato noted.

"What're they doing there?" Dr. Akagi asked.  


* * *

_"Shinji, Let them in!"_ Misato shouted though the radio.

Shinji, seeing the danger they would be in, immediately popped out the Entry Plug, which lowered a ladder.

"You two, get in here if you wanna live!" Shinji shouted though the speakers.  


* * *

After they got in the Entry Plug, Touji and Kensuke noticed that what they were breathing wasn't air.

"WHAT THE HELL, I'M BREATHING WATER?" Touji yelled.

"I'm all wet, and not in the naughty way!" Kensuke added.

_"That's LCL,"_ Misato explained, _"Shinji didn't complain about it."_

"Waitaminute, I was breathing LIQUID?" Shinji asked.

"That's not really much to know," Misato replied, "Now, Shinji, we're ordering a strategic retreat."

"Retreat?" Shinji repeated, "That's running away..."

"Yes, what's it to you?" Misato asked.

Shinji didn't answer...  


* * *

_"Uncle, why did daddy abandon me?"_

_"He's just very busy with his job."_

_"But he abandoned me..."_

_"Listen, Shinji. Sometimes, circumstances lead to problems. But sometimes, you have to solve those problems. And if you want to, the best thing to do is to not run away. To advance in life, you mustn't run away..."_

_"You mustn't run away..."_

_"You mustn't run away..."_

_"You mustn't run away..."_  


* * *

"I mustn't run away," Shinji muttered, "I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away. I will NOT run away!"

"Huh?" Kensuke noted.

"I can never run away from my problems," Shinji spoke, "If I do, I can't move forward! My Uncle taught me this lesson, and it made me a better person! And now, to prove it!"

And so, the Evangelion ran toward the Angel, activated a progressive knife...

And got thrown into a nearby building by a laser tentacle.

'lol,' The Angel thought, and moved on to what it was looking for.

The Evangelion stood up again. Shinji smiled.

"Uh, dude?" Touji spotted something, "What's with the Timer?"  


* * *

"UMBILICAL CABLE DISCONNECTED - TIME UNTIL INTERNAL POWER RUNS OUT - 3 Minutes."

"Crap!" Misato replied.  


* * *

"Okay, I don't know what that timer's for," Shinji smirked, "But that Angel'll be dead before it runs out!"

The Evangelion began to run toward the Angel, Progressive Knife in hand... When the timer hit 00:00, and the Eva stopped in its tracks.

"DAMMIT!" Shinji screamed, "DAMMIT, MOVE!"  


* * *

"The EVA has deactivated," Maya Ibuki noted. "Wait, we're getting some sort of increased power source from within the EVA!"  


* * *

"No..." Shinji noted, "I'm not going to lose. I'm not going to run! I'm going to win!"

The Evangelion's eyes began glowing red.

"JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?" Shinji roared, along with the Evangelion.  


* * *

"What the hell just happened!" Ritsuko yelled.

"Somehow, the Evangelion's entered some sort of controllable Berserker Mode!" Maya replied, "It's charging!"  


* * *

"See this?" Shinji smirked, "This is it! THIS IS MY BOOMSTICK!"

The Evangelion charged at the Angel, fangs bared, eyes red, and Progressive Knife ready.

The Angel, seeing this, unleashed a laser whip at the knife. The knife fell out of the Eva's hand, hitting the ground with a clang.

"That won't stop me!" Shinji roared, as the Eva's empty hand began glowing white.  


* * *

"Sir, we're picking up massive AT Field fluctuations!" Matoko Aoba yelled.

"Could it be?" Gendo wondered to himself.  


* * *

_"AT FIELD..."_

The white glow extended into a sharp spiral cone about the size of the Angel's head.

**_"GIGADRILL..."_**

The spiral cone began spinning, rocketing the Evangelion forward.

**_"BREAK!"_**

And the 'Drill' pierced Shamshel's core, reducing the great beast into the lifeblood it was spawned from.

The Eva landed, and Shinji sighed in relief.

"Gotta hand it to you, new kid," Touji smirked, "The commotion you may have caused may have injured my sister, but saving us makes you alright. Right, Aida?"

"Yeah..." Kensuke smiled.

"Oh, by the way, Dr. Akagi," Shinji turned his head toward the visage of the doctor, "In your face!"  


* * *

Twelve black monoliths glow in the darkness. Standing at the center, Gendo Ikari pushes his glasses up and smirks.

"The Destruction of Angels 3 and 4 have been accomplished," A monolith labeled '03' intones, "Your son may be a wild card, Gendo Ikari, but he's proved amazingly useful."

"As I figured," Gendo replied, his hands in the oh-so-infamous Ikari Thinking Pose (Trademark), "However, with the information on further Angels indicating further advancement, I humbly request Unit 02 be transfered to Tokyo-3. I will repeat this request when the Fifth Angel has been dealt with, so we can be certain that we are their focus."

"Prove it is logical, and it shall be done," 01 replied, "I have an apprehension of having Soryu anywhere near Ikari."

"As do I, Keel," Gendo replied, "As do I..."

**_To Be Continued_**


	5. Ch 1 Act V: EVENTS!

Evangelion Next Genesis  
Ch. 1: You are (Most Likely Not) Alone  
Act V: EVENTS!

"C'mon man, do it?"

"You really want this?"

"I won't feel right until you do!"

"Fine," Shinji Ikari pulled back, "UNSTOPPABLE SPIRIT PUNCH!"

And with that, Ikari's fist made contact with Touji Suzuhara's face.

"OW!" Touji yelled, "Okay... we're even. Sorry I decked you."

"Sorry isn't enough for forgiveness to me," Shinji smirked, "For my forgiveness, you must buy me some cool sunglasses."

"Geez, you're hard to please!" Touji yelled.

"Oh course! WHO DA HELL DO YA THINK I AM?"

"Way to rip off Gurren Lagann there."

"What?" Shinji asked.

"By the way, I've been meaning to ask," Kensuke asked, "Why exactly were YOU selected to be the Pilot of that 'Evangelion?'"

"Well..." Shinji replied, "According to my so-called father, the original pilot, a girl named Rei Ayanami, was injured in some incident involving Evangelion Unit 00..."  


* * *

_'Back then, when they were testing the Unit out, something happened...'_

"The Evangelion's gone berserk!" A scientist yelled, as the hulking form of Eva 00 began to rampage around the room.

"Cut off the main power supply!" Gendo shouted.

Hydraulics and timed explosives propelled the power plug from the Evangelion's back, whereupon it crashed onto the floor.

The beast still moved.

"Thirty seconds of battery power remaining!"

"It's gone berserk! Get away from the windows!"

_'The Eva went a little crazy, and sent Rei's entry plug out of its body...'_

"The Entry Plug's been ejected!"

"Activate the Restrainer Polymer!"

Red streams of synthetic polymer guzzled out of the walls, encasing the mad beast in a rapidly-solidifying plastic.

_'Then, in a sudden fit of silence, Unit-00 stopped.'_

"Power's out."

_'Gendo ran out and opened the entry plug, accidentally burning his hands in the process. Rei suffered a few broken ribs, and her right leg was broken slightly. Gendo had no choice but to contact me...'_  


* * *

"And now you know," Shinji smirked, "I was a replacement for Rei, and yet, in a way, I don't care."

"So, you weren't supposed to be here, and yet due to circumstances, here you are," Touji noted, "Well, that gives us a lot of closure."

"So, ever met this Ayanami chick?" Kensuke asked.

"Well, there was this one time..." Shinji replied.  


* * *

_'I was sent to give her a new ID Card, and she left the door open.'_

"Hello?" Shinji asked, "Is anybody here?"

_'Looking around, I noticed a pair of Gendo's glasses on the desk. I decided to try them.'_

"Oooo!" Shinji picked up the glasses and put them on, "Hey look, I'm Gendo! I touch little kids and nobody cares!"

_'And, well...'_

"Hello there," Rei appeared behind him, in a towel, "Those glasses belong to Gendo Ikari. Please return them."

_'... one thing led to another.'_

"Oh... hey, Rei," Shinji sweatdropped, "I just was here to give you your ID Card!"

"Oh, really?"

"HERE!" Shinji handed the card and ran out.  


* * *

"And that's all you need to know," Shinji replied.

"... Was she naked?" Kensuke asked

"THAT'S ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW!"

A short silence followed, before Touji noticed something...

"Hey, anybody notice something about that puddle?"

"Like what?" Shinji looked down to the puddle. His eyes widened when he saw that said puddle was reflecting the three...

**LIKE THEY WERE BEING VIEWED FROM ABOVE.**

"That defies all logic!" Kensuke screamed, "Unless..."

Then the three looked up to see their reflections on a giant, flying diamond.

'_I am the Angel of Thunder!_' The diamond thoughtspoke to all minds around him, '_My power strikes like lighting! I am the Fifth of my kind! I am Ramiel! I HAVE COME!_'

"Anger issues..." Shinji noted, "Well, here we go again!"  


* * *

"LAUNCH!"

"Time for the angel of thunder... to face the LIGHTING!"

And so, the Evangelion was transported to the surface.  


* * *

'IMMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR!' Ramiel thoughtroared, firing a laser straight at the Evangelion...

_**To Be Continued**_


	6. Ch 1 Act VI: FIRING!

Evangelion Next Genesis  
Ch. 1: You are (Most Likely Not) Alone  
Act VI: FIRING!

"So..." Misato tapped her finger, "How's everyone doing?"

"_**AHHHHHHHHHHH!**_" Shinji screamed at the top of his lungs, as the Angel's Lazor struck his Evangelion.

"I'm fine," Ritsuko replied, "Not sure about the pilot."

"**_I'M FEELING THE PAIN, AND IT'S INTENSE!_**" Shinji screamed.

"Hm... I wonder if he's alright," Misato wondered.

"**_HELP!_**" Shinji screamed.

"Perhaps we could recall the Eva and launch it elsewhere," Ritsuko theorized.

"**_HELP!_**" Shinji screamed.

"Shinji wouldn't approve of it, but it is possible," Misato replied.

"**_WHY WON'T ANYBODY HELP?_**" Shinji asked, "**_I'M DYING OUT HERE!_**"

"Oh, fine, raise the blast shield," Misato replied.  


* * *

A metal plate lifted itself inbetween the Angel and the Evangelion, intercepting the Lazor.

"Oh, thank god," Shinji smiled, "Listen, I may not like running from problems, but sometimes you HAVE to run so that the problem doesn't kill you-"

And he was interrupted by an EVEN MORE POWERFUL lazor piercing the Blast Shield.

"**_OH GOD WHY?_**" Shinji screamed.  


* * *

"Retract the EVA!" Ritsuko screamed.

"RETRACTING NOW!" Maya yelled.  


* * *

The Eva dropped down, out of the path of the lazor.  


* * *

"Get the pilot to the ER Room, stat!" Ritsuko yelled.  


* * *

Afterward, at a NERV Meeting...

"Okay, so the Angel's attack range is 30 meters in any random direction," Misato noted, "And when it attacks, a red orb appears, presumably the core. However, it can attack from any direction, therefore the usual tatic of stabbing the core won't work, and we don't know if the AT Drill will work, either. We have 10 hours to think of something before the Angel drills its way down here."

"Exactly," Ritsuko replied.

"... That's it. Nuke the thing," Misato replied.

"We don't have access to the remaining Nuclear Bombs, and we're gonna need to drop a LOT of N2 Mines," Makoto Hyuga replied, "About as many as it takes to destroy NERV."

"Okay, plan B," Misato replied, a small smirk across her face, "Bringing out the Big Guns."

"Eh?" Ritsuko asked.  


* * *

**_6 Hours Later..._**

"Oh, I see what you mean by 'Big Guns,'" Ritsuko replied, watching several helicopters transport an oversized sniper rifle.

"That, my friend, is an Positron Cannon meant for oversized pilotable mecha," Misato replied, "The guys building it were glad enough to donate it to our cause."

"Why?"

"They didn't say," Misato replied, "Now, Shinji better be ready..."  


* * *

"GAH!" Shinji woke up, "Hey, wait, I'm in a hospital again. The Eva must've gone berserk and killed the angel again. That's pretty much what happened last time..."

"Unfortunately, that is not the case."

Shinji turned to the voice's owner.

"Rei!" Shinji asked, "How long have you been here?"

"I have been here for approximately 3 hours," Rei replied, "Doing nothing to your body whatsoever. You should take note of that."

"I don't give a crap about what happened," Shinji smirked, "All that matters is that I'm back, beyotch!"

"Good to know this," Rei stood up, "Operation Yashima will occur in an hour."

And with that, she left.

"... Where are my pants?" Shinji asked when he looked under the sheets.  


* * *

"Okay, here's the plan," Misato spoke to the pilots, "Shinji will utilize the cannon as a sniper rifle for the Angel, while Rei covers using the blast shield."

"Right," Shinji groaned, "Guns aren't my style, but at this point, I have no choice."

"Command Confirmed," Rei replied.

"Good girl," Misato smiled, "Oh, and all of Tokyo-3's power is going into the cannon, so you can't drop the cannon and run."

"Oh," Shinji sighed, "Great..."  


* * *

"Angel has been sighted."

"Positron Cannon - Okay! Unit 01 - Okay! Unit 00 - Okay!"

Gendo smirked, and muttered three words.

"Begin the operation."  


* * *

Ramiel continued the drill its way to the target before a barrage of missles began hitting it. The Angel of Thunder reacted to this by firing several lazors everywhere to intercept them...

Exposing its core to a certain giant purple-and-green robot with a sniper rifle,

"Core Located!" Shinji noted.

"Fire now!" Misato shouted.

Shinji pulled the trigger, firing the Positron Cannon at the Angel's core... and hit an AT Field.

"The AT Field's still up!" Shinji yelled, "And... I think I attracted its attention."

'Damn right you did!' Ramiel thoughtspoke, 'IMMA FIRIN' MY LAZOR!'

A lazor streaked toward the Evangelion... only to be intercepted by another blue Evangelion, with a shield.

'WTF?' Ramiel thoughtgrowled.

"Ikari, cover your own ass! I get tired of having to do it for you!" Rei shouted.

"Okay, you finally show emotion here," Shinji noted, "Okay, here we go! This cannon of ours will proceed forward... and pierce the Angel and the Heavens themselves! Take this! Our hopes! Our dreams! And all of our Sorrow! **_INFINITY BUSTER CANNON!_**"

Another trigger pull, and the cannon fired straight into the Angel's core.

'OH SH*T!' Ramiel thoughtscreamed as he died, his core reverting to lifeblood and his body shattering to bits.

One of those bits was flung over to Eva-01. It looked a LOT like a pair of Kamina shades.

"I think I'll keep this as a reminder," Shinji smirked, as the Eva lifted the Kamina Shades to its face, "To remind me why we'll always win - because Angelkind is dumb!"  


* * *

"The fifth Angel has fallen," Gendo stood up, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting to attend to."  


* * *

"Ayanami, you okay?" Shinji asked.

"I'm fine," Rei replied, "But why would you care?"

"Please," Shinji replied, "Why wouldn't I?"

"If I died, nobody would care," Rei replied, "I shall simply be replaced."

"Oh, please," Shinji replied, "So what if you have few friends and rarely emote. You're unique, like a-"

"Please, for the love of god, don't say 'Snowflake,'" Rei sighed.

"... I was going to say 'Diamond,'" Shinji replied.

"Oh..." Rei sighed, "I guess there is only one thing I can say..."

"And that would be?"

"You are not alone."  


* * *

"The Fifth Angel has fallen," 03 noted.

"Indeed," Gendo Ikari sighed.

"Tokyo-3 has been determined the center of Angel attacks," 01 replies, "Therefore, Gendo Ikari, Unit-02 will be transferred to Tokyo-3, along with Pilot Soryu."

"Excellent..." Gendo exited the scene.

"You sure about bringing those two together?" A new voice spoke.

"It is logical," 01 replied, "As such, it will occur."

"I dunno," The voice's owner smirked, "It'll certainly be interesting..."

"Indeed, Tabris," 01 added, "Indeed."

**_END CHAPTER 1_**


	7. Ch 2 Act VII: GIRLS!

Evangelion Next Genesis  
Ch. 2: You Can (Most Likely Not) Advance  
Act VII: GIRLS!

"So, remind me," Shinji sighed, "Why are we in a helicopter?"

"We're going to meet the Second Child," Misato addressed him and his friends Touji and Kensuke.

"Oh, we're getting another mecha pilot?" Kensuke noted, "Well, we have the Badass and the Deadpan Snarker."

"So?" Shinji asked.

"Now we're getting the Fanservice Girl!" Kensuke replied, a glint in his eye.

"Sah-Weet!" Touji smiled, high-fiving Kensuke.

"Well, she IS a girl, but I dunno about the Fanservice part..." Misato shrugged.  


* * *

When the helicopter landed, there was only one person waiting for them.

She stood near the landing pad, in a bright yellow sundress. One hand was placed on her hip, in a defiant position. Her red-orange hair fluttered in the wind as well. She held a dangerous look in her eye, and one could tell from first glance that her personality was possibly as hardcore as Shinji's own.

"Okay, I'll bite," Touji spoke up, "Who's this?"

"I'm Asuka Langley Soryu-Shikinami," The girl replied, "Pilot of Evangelion Unit 02. The Second Child."

"... I'm gonna have to rank her a 2," Touji muttered.

"I could say the same about you," Asuka growled, "Now, which one's the Third Child?"

"He couldn't make it today," Shinji replied.

"You're the Third," Asuka smirked.

"I never said that," Shinji noted.

"Oh, please," Asuka shook her head, "I recognize you from the Information Sheet I received, Shinji Ikari"

"Oh?" Shinji smirked, "Did it mention my sync score for the first battle, and how I WON that round?"

"By letting the Eva go berserk," Asuka replied, "In fact, you went berserk in your FIRST TWO Battles. Something a TRAINED pilot like myself would never do."

"Oh, please!" Shinji smirked, "When Angels sing of a destroyer, they sing of a person that eliminates the messengers of a malevolent god! They sing about a man that purifies the darkness of heaven themselves! They sing about a man that will pierce their heavenly home! But when they think of someone that surpasses that person, the first thing in mind is ME! Of all the people of Tokyo-3... I'm the most Badass of them all! **JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?**"

"Oh, geez," Asuka rolled her eyes, "A Gurren Lagann fanboy."

"Why does everyone say that about me?" Shinji asked.  


* * *

"Forgive me for asking," The captain of the ship stared at the ID Card, "But why is your age blackened out?"

"Classified," Misato replied, "I thank you for bringing the Second Child to Tokyo-3."

"Thanking me won't make up for the damages she's caused," The captain grumbled.

"The ship doesn't seem damaged to me, and all the other ships look fine," Touji pointed out.

"They're a fraction of what we left Germany with," the captain replied.

"Oh."

"Well, well," a manly voice spoke, "If it isn't the Third Child, and his guardian."

Everyone turned to a attractive man standing at the door.

"Kaji-san!" Asuka screamed.

"YOU?" Misato growled, "What are YOU doing here?"

"I'm the Guardian of Miss Soryu," Kaji replied, a smirk on his face, "Seems you've managed to get yourself a kid, Misato. Good for you."

"I'm not a kid!" Shinji growled, "**I AM A MAN!**"

"Oh, shut up, Third Child, before I decide to hit you where the sun don't shine," Asuka sighed.

Misato sighed. Normally, bickering would not bother her. But Kaji...

Kaji was intolerable.  


* * *

"So... Shinji, what do you think of Asuka?" Misato asked.

"She's kinda like me, in a way," Shinji noted, "Though not as badass."

"Well," Touji added, "There's definitely something up her A-"

He then noticed Asuka at the top of the escalator.

"ASUKA!" Touji shouted, "Uh oh..."

"Come with me," Asuka growled, "Third Child."

"I call dibs on the Eva!" Kensuke shouted.  


* * *

"So, what is this... thing you wanted to show off?" Shinji asked.

"The one thing that's more badass then me, and certainly you," Asuka lifted the tarp that rested in front of them, revealing a giant, red Evangelion.

"Evangelion Unit 02!" Asuka introduced the giant, "The latest in the Evangelion line, and the most advanced of them all!"

"Yeah, yeah, it's pretty," Shinji sighed, "But why RED?"

"For many reasons," Asuka smirked, "MY Evangelion has a marked landspeed higher then the previous models, can control its AT Field better, and has an increased reaction time."

"Yeah, yeah, it's impressive," Shinji growled, not caring at all.

"And MY Evangelion has a back-up bio-computer, so it doesn't go berserk, unlike Unit-01," Asuka added.

"Yeah, yeah, it can't go berserk," Shinji growled again.

"And MY Evangelion-"

"**I GET IT! YOUR GODDAMN EVA'S PROBABLY BETTER THEN 01, I GET IT!**" Shinji shouted, "But mine's better then yours, in EVERY way!"

"How?" Asuka snarked.

"It can make _DRILLS_ out of its AT Field! Can yours do that!" Shinji shouted.

"Oh, that's nothing in comparison to MY Eva!" Asuka smirked, "I'll prove it when the next Angel attacks!"

And out of the blue, SOMETHING entered every mind in the vicinity. An Angel Thoughtboasting.

'**_I am Angel of the Fish! My power makes even the whales shiver in fear! I am the Sixth of my kind! I am Gaghiel! I am coming!_**'

"An Angel?" Asuka blinked, then smiled, "Showtime..."

**_To Be Continued_**


	8. Ch 2 Act VIII: HEROICS!

Evangelion Next Genesis  
Ch. 2: You Can (Most Likely Not) Advance  
Act VIII: HEROICS!

"Put this on!" Asuka tossed a red plugsuit to Shinji. Shinji raised an eyebrow.

"This shouldn't be new to you," Asuka pointed out. Shinji shrugged, and went to try it on.

A few minutes later, and Asuka's spare plugsuit has actually made Shinji look like a girl.

"I hate you," Shinji growled, "I hate you so freaking much."

"Okay, get in the Entry Plug," Asuka smirked, as the long cylinder extended from the Evangelion's back.

"Won't that ruin your Sync Ratio by having me around?" Shinji asked.

"Get in," Asuka growled, "Before I kick. Your. Face."  


* * *

"Sir!" A commander shouted, "The Angel seems to be resistant to all the torpedos we've fired!"

"GODDAMN ORGANIC MACGUFFIN!" The captain screamed.

"AT Field, sir."

"Hey, look!" Touji pointed, "The tarp's rising!"

"What?" The captain turned.  


* * *

What once was a tarp now was worn by the giant robotic creature called an Evangelion like a cape. In the pilot's seat, Asuka Langley Soryu-Shikinami smirked, with Shinji Ikari in the same cockpit.

She muttered something in the German language, and the computer... crashed.

"YOU IDIOT!" Asuka yelled.

"What did I do?" Shinji asked.

"The computer crashed because ONE of us is thinking in Japanese!" Asuka growled.

"It's not my fault you can't think in the right language," Shinji quipped.

"Nevermind!" Asuka moaned, "Japanese Language Setting on. Eva Unit-02... ARISE!"

The Evangelion's eyes glowed a green color, then the titan began leaping on to one ship after another, toward the Angel, until it landed on the main ship. The power cord having been installed, Asuka knew she was ready.

Gaghiel roared and charged toward the Evangelion, who dodged the giant fishlike beast.

"Ha! Why don't you try fighting on boats? Oh, yeah, that's why," Asuka taunted, "YOU'RE A FISH!"

'**_Even a fish can evolve arms and legs, for that is how life on this planet evolved!_**' Gaghiel thoughtspoke, '**_Gaghiel! TERRORIZE!'_**

Gaghiel shot out of the water, then shapeshifted into a giant humanoid being with fins on his back, with a beakmask for a face. He landed on one of the ships, a different one from the Eva.

"Since when could Angels do that?" Shinji asked.

'**_Since forever! All Angels can shift inbetween a Travel Form and a Fighter form!_**' Gaghiel thougthspoke, '**_Some, like Ramiel, could shapeshift even further. You were LUCKY to defeat him, Ikari!_**'

Everyone gasped.

'**_That's right,_**' Gaghiel smirked somehow, '**_All Angels became aware of your existence when you got Sachiel. And we got familiar with your thought processes, since everything you think on the inside follows the same pattern of 'Everyone hates me, I don't care, just who the hell do you think I am?' Really, your thought processes get dull after a while.'_**

"WHY YOU!" Shinji growled at the Angel, before a blow by Asuka stopped him.

"Idiot! It's just trying to mess with you!" Asuka shouted.

'**_Oh, you're one to talk, Soryu!_**' Gaghiel thoughtspoke, **_'You act tough, but you lack the resolve to overcome your own limitations, emotional and physical! Ikari's own mother died like yours, but at least SHE went with dignity!'_**

"What!" Asuka yelled, "You don't know anything about my mother!"

'**_I look into both of your minds, and I know everything!_**' Gaghiel thoughtspoke, '**_You want to be a hero, Asuka, but you lack the resolve and the reason! Your species is nothing but darkness and despair! It is the reason you never will know true happiness! It is the reason you will never know hope! It is the reason.._**.'

And Gaghiel shipjumped toward the Evangelion, claws raised.

'**_That we Angels must exterminate you!_**'

Asuka sighted a red sphere on the Angel's chest, and readied her Progressive Knife.

And when the Angel was close enough...

She thrust it in.

* * *

Later, at school...

"That Angel..." Shinji growled, "I'm glad it's dead."

"Man, Shinji, you're depressed today," Touji pointed out.

"Oh, it's nothing," Shinji spoke, "I was just thinking to myself."

"Yeah, we had a bad day too," Touji replied, "Thanks to that monster."

"And the Angel," Kensuke pointed out, "The only good thing that day was Shinji crossdressing."

"Shut up," Shinji growled.

"Class, today we have a new student," The teacher spoke, "Be sure not to harass her."

"Eh?" Touji and Kensuke turned.

"Hello, my name is Asuka Langley Soryu-Shikinami," A familiar face smirked.

And the two screamed.

* * *

"Well, didn't expect an Angel so far out," Kaji noted, "I guess our little friend here is the charmer," referring to an embryonic object in a suitcase on Gendo's desk.

"Indeed," Gendo noted, "But after all, he IS a clone of the first Angel..."

**_To Be Continued._**


	9. Ch 2 Act IX: ISRAFEL!

Evangelion Next Genesis  
Ch. 2: You Can (Most Likely Not) Advance  
Act IX: ISRAFEL!

"Row, Row, Fight the power," Shinji sung to himself.

"Still singing Gurren Lagann songs to yourself?" Asuka walked by and asked.

"Just heard the song, thought it would sound cool," Shinji replied, "Why would you care?"

"Oh, it's just that you claim not to watch it, yet you spout Kamina's catch-phrase every five minutes," Asuka smirked, "You really think that I'm just going to let that go?"

"Ugh, nevermind," Shinji replied, "You're impossible to understand."

"Yeah, women you love almost always are," Asuka replied, "From what Kaji told me."

"Oh, why don't you bother that girl over there?" Shinji pointed toward Rei, who was sitting nearby, reading a book.

"Maybe I will," Asuka walked off to Rei.

"Too easy to make her buzz off," Shinji observed.  


* * *

Meanwhile, at NERV, Ritsuko was busy analyzing the core sample of some of the Angels that were killed as of recently, when a pair of manly arms wrapped around her.

"Well, hello there, Dear Ritsuko," Kaji smirked, "I travelled many places, but no woman in those places can compare to you."

"Is that true," Ritsuko smirked, "Not even your old fling?"

"Eh?" Kaji asked. Ritsuko pointed to a VERY familiar blunette in the window.

"Grrrr..." Misato growled.

"Ah, Misato, as childish as always," Kaji replied.

"You might wanna run now," Ritsuko noted.

"Sorry, not much of a runner," Kaji smirked.

"One of your problems always WAS your endurance," Misato noted, "And why are you still here? You already transferred Eva 02."

"I just go where the action is," Kaji replied, "Sexual or not, heh."

"Look, there isn't any action to be had here!" Misato snapped.

WARNING! BLUE PATTERN PICKED UP! ANGEL APPROACHING!

"You were saying?" Kaji smirked.  


* * *

As the Angel approached Tokyo-3, anybody in a hundred miles picked up this thoughtspeech:

'**_We are the Angels of Song and Dance. Our power is amplified throughout our symmetry. We are the Seventh of our kind, and an army onto ourselves. We are Israfel. We have come._**'  


* * *

High above, Evangelions 01 and 02 were being transported to the coast by specialized carrier planes.

"Hey, I can see Misato's apartment from here!" Shinji pointed out.

"Nobody cares, Ikari!" Asuka growled, "And why did I have to work with the wimp?"

"Wimp? WIMP?" Shinji shouted, "JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?"

"Oh, shut up," Asuka snapped, "Now, let's get this Angel and go home."

And with that, the Angel arose. It was... big, but that's an Angel for you. It was also humanoid, and had a variant of the face that looked like a yin-yang symbol.

'**_OHAI!_**' The Angel thoughtspoke.

The Evangelion was launched from the carrier planes, and landed. Unit 01 was equipped with a rifle, while Unit 02 received with a spear.

"Time to take this Angel down!" Asuka ran toward the Angel, jumped from ship to ship, before...

SLASH!

And the Angel was slashed in half.

"Too easy," Asuka commented.

"Show-Off," Shinji pouted.

And then, the Angel Halves both emitted two words.

'_**ISRAFEL, TERRORIZE!**_'

They then both morphed into twin Angels, one green, one red-orange.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Asuka shouted, "CHEATERS!"

"Well, this is new," Shinji noted, "Time to enter the fray, Boomstick!"

"Boomstick?" Asuka asked.

"I named it a while back," Shinji shrugged.

"You can't name a giant robot!" Asuka pointed out.

"OF COURSE I CAN!" Shinji screamed, "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?"

'About to be OWNED!' The orange Israfel charged.

'And you're mine!' The green Israfel turned to Asuka.

And so, an epic battle took place...  


* * *

"GAH! CAN'T BELIEVE WE LOST!" Asuka shouted, "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"How is it MY fault?" Shinji asked, "You got cocky."

"You're cocky, 24/7!" Asuka pointed out, "We were lucky they nuked the Angels before their rampage!"

"Ugh, I hope Misato has a plan that works against those Angels," Shinji thought, "Preferably not a ridiculous one."  


* * *

"YOU WANT US TO DO WHAT AGAINST THE ANGELS?" Shinji screamed.

"Well, I found that the Angels are Symbiotic," Misato replied, "So our strategy defeating them is to pierce both cores at the exact same time."

"That's impossible, even for me!" Asuka replied.

"Oh, just give me two Progressive Knives, and a lot of sugar," Shinji added, "It'll be too easy."

"You hopped-up on sugar is not a part of my plan," Misato replied, "In my plan, both of you have to be in Sync with each other, and pierce their cores in 62 seconds."

"BUT HOW!" Asuka replied.

"Match your attacks to the song," Misato replied.

"That's your plan?" Shinji asked.

"Yep."

"... All right, then," Shinji replied.

"Okay, you need a LOT of training to be in sync, so as of this moment, Asuka will be rooming with Shinji," Misato explained.

"WHAT?" Asuka and Shinji screamed.

"I object!" Asuka slammed her hands on the desk, "Kaji won't love me if I live with another male."

"Chill, I can explain it to him," Shinji smirked.

"I was talking about PenPen."

"HEY!"

"Y'know," Misato replied, "Kaji came up with the whole rooming idea..."

"I will deal with him for the sake of mankind!" Asuka shouted.

"Well, I hope nobody ELSE heard the whole 'PenPen' thing," Shinji groaned.  


* * *

"AHAHAHAHAHA!" Kaworu Nagisa laughed, "I got it! She called him a girl! AHAHAHA!"

"Tabris, are you watching our pilots though the security cameras again?" 01 intoned.

"No, Keel," Kaworu replied.  


* * *

A week later, Touji and Kensuke were walking to Misato's apartment.

"Well, Shinji hasn't been showing up at school lately," Touji noted.

"Wonder why," Kensuke added.

Along the way, they were joined by a girl with short twin tails - Hikari Horaki.

"Why are you tagging along?" Kensuke asked.

"To see my friend, Asuka," Hikari replied.

"Oh," Touji replied.

When they got to the apartment, a sight that horrified them awaited...

Asuka and Shinji in matching leotards.

"GAHHHHHH!" Touji screamed, "I THINK I DIED AND WENT TO HELL!"

"THE LEOTARD!" Kensuke screamed, "IT'S LIKE A CASTRATION FOR MY SOUL!"

"THIS IS JUST RIDICULOUS!" Hikari screamed, "EVEN SAFE SEX HAS LIMITS!"

"YOU'VE GOT IT WRONG!" Asuka and Shinji replied in sync, "WE'VE BEEN STUCK TRAINING TO BE IN SYNC FOR THE ENTIRE WEEK!"

"And I think it's working," Hikari noted.

"THAT WAS JUST A COINCIDENCE!" Asuka and Shinji replied again in sync.

"And I guess that's a coincidence, too?" Hikari asked.

"Yeah," Asuka and Shinji replied once again in sync.

"And you have me to thank for that," PenPen added.

"... Did that penguin just talk?" Hikari asked.

"Yeah, he does that," Shinji and Asuka replied.

"Thanks to me, their minds are now in sync," PenPen explained, "They talk, think, and feel in perfect synchronization."

"And YOU?" Hikari peered at the Penguin.

PenPen glared back. Suddenly, Hikari was shocked at... something.

"That penguin!" Hikari pointed at the penguin, "It's not of this world!"

"Well, that's odd..." Kensuke noted, "The class rep's out of her mind. Touji, get the duct tape."  


* * *

At night...

"Is Misato home yet?" Asuka asked after she got out of the shower.

"PenPen got bored, and decided to let us act on our own," Shinji replied, "And Misato's not home yet. Girl stuff."

"Like what?"

"I dunno," Shinji replied.

"Well, in that case," Asuka placed on her underwear and a shirt, "I'll be sleeping alone tonight."

Grapping her sleeping bag, Asuka exited into another room, closing the door behind her. Soon after, the door opened again. Asuka was on all fours, with her shirt down enough for Shinji to notice her... assets.

"Okay, Third Child," Asuka sternly spoke, "If you cross this wall of Jericho, you will suffer grave consequences."

"Kay, fine," Shinji smirked, "I can deal with that, Toothpick Bones."

"You should know, Toothpick Boner," Asuka slammed the door.

"My ribs? My thighbone? What bone's my Boner?"

"Your penis, stupid!"

And another midnight enters Tokyo-3.

'What's her problem?' Shinji asked himself, 'Not that I care. My manhood's not a toothpick. And... wait, isn't Jericho only famous for falling?'

A minute of contemplation later.

'Why would she use a metaphor involving a wall famous only for falling?' Shinji asked himself, 'Reverse Psychology? She's uninformed? ... No, that can't be it. She wasn't standing up. She WANTED me to go in. But why?'

'... Did I leave the window ope-' Shinji didn't finish that thought, as he saw something that shocked even him. Asuka, lying next to him, asleep.

'Hmm...' Shinji thought to himself, 'Maybe I can draw on her face? I can blame it on PenPen. Revenge for me is so great. ... of course it's great, Just who-'

"Don't kill me," Asuka muttered.

"The hell?" Shinji replied.

"I'll be good," Asuka muttered, "Don't murder me, Mama."

Shinji blinked at her, then decided to get some sleep.

"Mama, don't!" Asuka said in her sleep, "I didn't do anything wrong! No, please! PUT THE KNIFE DOWN!"

"Asuka," Shinji rose up.

"NOT THERE!" Asuka screamed.

"ASUKA!" Shinji shouted.

Asuka awoke.

"What are you doing in Misato's room!" Asuka asked.

"I'm not in her room, you're in mine!" Shinji pointed out, "And you were having some kind of nightmare."

"... Sorry," Asuka lied down again.

"Thank god," Shinji lied down, drifting off to sleep.

...

"Wha?" he asked in shock.

"Shut up, Baka," Asuka pulled the boy that she most acted like closer.

And another day dawned on Tokyo-3

**_To Be Continued._**


	10. Ch 2 Act X: JOINING!

Evangelion Next Genesis  
Ch. 2: You Can (Most Likely Not) Advance  
Act X: JOINING!

The next day, Evangelion 01 and 02 stood ready.

"Are they ready?" Misato asked.

"Batteries charged at Maximum," Maya replied.

"Song selected," Aoba added.

"Angel Located," Matoko added

"Eva Pilots ready?" Misato asked.

_"Shinji Ikari, Ready!"_

_"Asuka Langley Soryu-Shinkinami, Wondering why we can't just drop another N2 mine and attack their core then."_

"We ran out of available N2 mines at this moment," Misato replied, "That, in fact, WAS our ORIGINAL Plan B."

"The Angel has arrived at the access point," Matoko noted.

"LAUNCH NOW!" Misato watched the Evangelions be rapidly levitated, "Aoba, HIT IT!"

"Yes, Ma'am!" Aoba clicked the button, and the music began.

* * *

**_BACKGROUND MUSIC: To Hell With Combining! (Gurren Lagann OST)_**

"A Gurren Lagann song?" Asuka asked.

"Don't look at me, I don't even WATCH it!" Shinji replied.

The Evangelions charged at the Angel, slashing it in half.

The Angel shifted back into the twin forms, then met two fists launched by the Evas. One angel began firing lasers at the two. Asuka and Shinji began willing the Evas to backflip, avoiding the attacks.

A blast shield was raised between the Angels and the Evas. Asuka and Shinji retrieved two identical guns, and began firing from behind the blast shield.

"This wasn't the song we trained too, but it works!" Asuka shouted.

And then the song ended, and the Angels recombined into the singular Isfarel, which then crashed through the blast shield.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Shinji screamed.

The Angel responded by clanking the Eva's heads together.

"OW!" Asuka and Shinji shouted.

* * *

"This is bad," Misato noted, "Asuka and Shinji are being badly beaten, and the Angel's proven stronger then originally anticipated."

"We're gonna need a miracle to defeat this angel," Ritsuko added.

"Hey, there's an intense energy reading from both Evas!" Maya shouted, "It's getting intense!"

"Time for the second song!" Aoba pressed a button, and a second song began.

* * *

**_BACKGROUND MUSIC: Rap is a Man's Soul (Row Row Fight the Power!) (Gurren Lagann Parallel Works 1)_**

"Not yet," Shinji stood the Evangelion up, "We're not done!"

"We, Asuka Langley Soryu-Shinkinami," Asuka added.

"And Shinji Ikari," Shinji added.

"REFUSE TO FALL!" They replied in sync, "We'll continue doing the impossible, and beating the unbeatable! Go, Go, FIGHT THE POWER!"

Suddenly, Unit 02 leaped up. The Shoulder Pylons shifted back to a wing-like position. The arms rotated up, and the lower legs detached from the Eva. Unit 01 fired twin drills from its back, which embedded in Unit 02, then retracted, dragging 02 onto the back of 01. The chest of Eva 01 transformed to resemble 02's face, and 02's legs combined on 01's Shoulder Pylons. The entire result shifted in color to a Red and Purple color-scheme.

"New look means new name!" Shinji smirked, "I hearby name this fusion of Boomstick and 02... _GrenLagan!_"

"How..." Asuka blinked, "How did this happen?"

"Never question things, just roll with them," Shinji willed the machine to walk forward.

The machine roared with a savage growl, and then grabbed the shades on Unit 01's face. Then, it threw the boomerang shades at the Angel. The shades suddenly doubled in size midair, and was followed by another copy.

'**HOLY LILITH!**' The Angel thoughtspoke after the glasses embedded themselves in his limbs.

"Cores Located!" Misato replied, "Quick, now!"

"Time for the finishing move!" Asuka shouted, "HYPER..."

"AT FIELD..." Shinji replied, already forming a cone of AT Field around the Eva's arm.

"DYNAMIC..." Asuka added.

"GIGA..." Shinji watched the cone start spinning.

"ULTIMATE..." Asuka added.

"DRILL..." Shinji smirked.

And the Combined Evas charged forth, propelled like a rocket by their AT field drill.

"**_BREAKER!_**" Both roared, as the Drill went through the cores.

"Again, Gurren Lagann fanboy," Asuka smirked.

"I'm not a GL Fan," Shinji growled.

"Oh, please, just-" Asuka didn't finish, as the Angel exploded, reverting the two into the twin Evangelions.

* * *

"THE EVANGELIONS COMBINE?" Ritsuko screamed, "WHAT **_IS_** THIS? I DON'T EVEN-"

"Ritsuko, stop," Misato addressed her scientist friend, "It's just a weird circumstance."

"GAHHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

To Be Continued.


	11. Ch 2 Act XI: KHAOS!

Evangelion Next Genesis  
Ch. 2: You Can (Most Likely Not) Advance  
Act XI: KHAOS! (Yes, we know that title has nothing to do with the story. Shut up.)

"The school trip is in a week!" Asuka cheered, "So exciting!"

"There's... not really much to be excited about," Shinji shrugged, "Trips bore me. They're not my style."

"But you don't even know what the trip is about!" Asuka insisted, "You'd be at LEAST a little curious."

"Well, all I know is that it involves water in some way..." Shinji noted, "So, it'd be unmanly. Not my style, remember?"

"Buzzkill," Asuka groaned.

"Crackhead," Shinji replied.

"HEY!"  


* * *

One week later...

"The bus," Shinji growled, "It makes me unpleased..."

POP!

"The tire got flat," The teacher groaned, "Good thing we have another."

And so, while the teacher and bus driver were installing the new tire, Shinji wandered off.

"Where'd he go?" Asuka asked.

"Unknown," Rei replied, "Shinji most likely is trying to familiarize himself with his environment at this moment..."

"HEY, GUYS!" Shinji shouted, "CHECK OUT MY NEW PET OLD MAN!"

"You do realize I was taking a hike, right?" Fuyutsuki asked.

"Looks like the commander's assistant, doesn't he?" Shinji raised an eyebrow.

"I AM," Fuyutsuki added.  


* * *

"I think I'll call him Coco," Shinji smirked, "Suits him."

"I have a name," Fuyutsuki replied, "And I'm not your pet. I'm only accompanying you because I got lost and-"

"We're here," The teacher deadpanned.

"Oh, good," Shinji looked out the window, "What is this, the bottled water factory or something?"

Then he saw it.

"HOLY CRUD!" Shinji screamed, "A HOT SPRING! A variable smorgasbord of everything a man truly desires and craves! A building with one sole purpose..."  


* * *

Later, in the hot spring...

"Wow, how relaxing," Aida smiled at the feeling on his skin.

"Yeah," Touji smiled, "So good..."

"NO FAIR! YOU PUT UP A WALL TOO HIGH TO SEE ANYTHING!" Shinji roared, "There are just some things I have to see!"

"Shinji, would you ever be quiet?" Touji asked.

"Not until my heart's desire has been quenched!" Shinji replied, trying desperately to climb the wall. He fell off, then tried again. He fell off a second time, and then tried again. "This is tougher then I thought..."

"What are you trying to see?" Kensuke asked.

"What a girl looks like underneath all that clothing," Shinji replied, "I hear EVERY guy wants to see that."

"_FREAKIN' RIGHT!_" Kensuke and Touji replied.

"Excellent!" Shinji smirked, "So, we will work with each other to achieve a common goal for all men! Passing forth a gate to maturity and manhood!"

"Yayz!" Kensuke cheered.

"Yeah, but how are we gonna get to that goal?" Touji asked.

"Simple..." Shinji smirked, holding a disposable camera, "If I can guess right, the wall is the combined height of all of us. So, if we stand on each other's shoulders, one of us can see the girls, and use this camera to capture the shot."

"Alright," Touji gave a thumbs up.

And so, Kensuke stood on Touji's shoulders, and Shinji stood on Kensuke's shoulders.

"Why are you on top?" Kensuke asked.

"Because I bought the camera, not you," Shinji replied.

And then, he looked at all the girls.

"DAMMIT, THEY'RE WEARING TOWELS!" Shinji yelled.

"Huh?" Asuka's voice was heard, "Hikari, did you hear something?"

"And I think I just got noticed!" Shinji hissed, "Touji, crouch down!"

And then the tower fell into the water.

"Ow!" All three yelled.

"Okay..." Shinji groaned, "Time for plan B."

"What plan B?" Touji asked.

"Well, while I was trying to see the girls, I noticed a number of male employees nearby," Shinji noted, "So, we pose as employees, and we can see the girls without towels all we want."

"Wait, why are there male employees?" Touji asked.

"Heck, I dunno," Shinji shrugged.

"You sure anybody won't recognize us?" Kensuke asked.

"You're right... we need a disguise," Shinji placed his hands in a position resembling Gendo's thinking pose, except not on a table.

After a few short minutes, Shinji's fingers snapped.

"I got an idea for you two..."  


* * *

Five minutes later...

"Hey, Kensuke, Touji," Some guy greeted the two.

"I don't know this Kensuke," Aida replied, "Although I have a feeling he'd wear glasses."

"And I don't know this Touji," Touji added, "Although he hits me as the type of guy who doesn't wear glasses."

"Oh, okay," The guy walked on.

"I told you the whole glasses-on-another-guy trick would work," Shinji smirked.

"You actually thought of something that works!" Kensuke noted.

"Of course I did!" Shinji replied, "Just who the hell do you think I am?"

"What about your disguise?" Touji asked.

Shinji replied by placing on a pair of sunglasses that looked like Kamina's, only green.

"Wow, that works for you," Kensuke smirked.

"I just found this on top of some guy's locker," Shinji explained.

And so, the trio knocked out three male employees, stole their uniforms, and walked into the female hot springs.

"So... when are they gonna drop the towels?" Touji asked.

"At any moment," Shinji replied.

At that moment, PenPen ran by, surprising Rei, Asuka, and Hikari. But by their surprise, they had lost grip of their towels...

"Speak of the devil," Shinji smirked, "Looks like the moment's-"

... revealing the swimsuits that the three were wearing underneath.

"-The hell?" Shinji, Kensuke, and Touji replied simultaneously.

"Good thing the nice workers were able to lend us the swimsuits," Asuka smiled.

"That's a special service for us," One of the workers replied. Noticing Shinji and co, he raised an eyebrow, "Is there a problem?"

"Nope," Touji quickly turned away.

"Nada," Kensuke replied.

"... _**YOU WANNA KNOW IF I HAVE A PROBLEM!**_" Shinji roared, dropping the glasses, "**_YES, I DO HAVE A PROBLEM! YOU TOOK MY EXPECTATIONS, MADE ME GO AROUND AND TRY TO FULFIL THEM, AND YOU STUFFED THEM INTO THE DIRT! SMACKED THEM AROUND AND SMASHED THEM! I'LL FOLLOW YOU BASTARDS TO THE FIREY PITS OF HELL!_**"

His rant ended suddenly because of a creepy shadow overlaying the entire place...

**'I am the Angel of the Unborn. My power brings non-existence to those that have yet to exist. I am the Eighth of my kind. I am Sandalphon. I am here...'**

"Oh, shit," Shinji growled.  


* * *

To Be Continued.


	12. Ch 2 Act XII: JETALONE!

Evangelion Next Genesis  
Ch. 2: You Can (Most Likely Not) Advance  
Act XII: JETALONE!

As the huge, fish-like angel floated to Tokyo-3, Shinji and Asuka quickly dressed and ran out.

"Dammit," Shinji swore, "We shouldn't have left NERV."

"This is all your fault!" Asuka pointed toward Shinji in an accusative manner.

"I didn't do anything that could have led to an Angel showing up!" Shinji replied back.

"You two are hopeless," Rei deadpanned.

"SHUT UP!" The two replied.

Their argument was intercepted by the sight of the Angel being attacked by... something. It looked like a robot, but was oddly designed, white-and-orange in color, and wielding some sort of giant Hammer-type weapon.

"Hello all!" The pilot of the machine shouted, "And say hello to Jet Alone!"

"... WHA?" Both Asuka and Shinji yelled.

"Alright, Angel!" The pilot yelled, "JA's here, to stop you in your nonexistent tracks!"

The Angel stared for a second, followed by charging at the robot... who proceeded to swing the hammer. The Angel tried an AT Field, but the hammer went too fast for it to be of any effect. The core went in half, and the Angel dissolved into Lifeblood.

"See? No Eva can swing a hamma fasta then Jet Alone!" The pilot boasted, "Stop! Hammatime!"

"... Hammers are overrated," Shinji replied, "DRILLS out of AT Field are where it's at!"  


* * *

The Next Day...

"So, I hear Shinji had Quite the adventure yesterday," Ritsuko snarked.

"Wasn't MY fault," Misato replied.

"Of course," Ritsuko smirked, "When Shinji is convinced Commander Fuyutsuki is his pet, and a robot of unknown origin kills an Angel with a hammer, it TOTALLY isn't your fault."

"Yep."

"But you let the pilots go on a trip, despite the risk?"

"Yeah... my bad."

"I guess it's just luck that robot showed up. Seems..."

"Convenient," Gendo's voice spoke up. The two turned to see the commander of NERV standing nearby.

"Hello, commander," Ritsuko replied.

"I couldn't help but overhear your conversation," Gendo observed, "And I agree with the appearance of the robot being so sudden. It seems... planned."

"How can someone PLAN an Angel attack?" Misato asked.  


* * *

"Man, that Jet-Alone freak TOTALLY stole my spotlight!" Shinji growled, "I'll wait until the next Angel shows up, and then get my spotlight back by beating it faster then HE can!"

"Ikari," Rei replied, "The likelihood of that occurring is very unlikely, since the Jet-Alone has proved very capable of-"

"SCREW THE JET ALONE!" Shinji roared, "I AM SHINJI IKARI, PILOT OF BOOMSTICK THE FIRST EVANGELION, AND TOKYO-3'S RESIDENT BADASS! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?"

"... Obviously, someone not capable of negotiation," Rei monotoned.

"Yeah, that's Ikari for you," Asuka sighed, having gotten used to him.

"ATTENTION! NEW ANGEL APPROACHING!" The speakers yelled, "EVACUATE TO THE NEAREST SHELTER!"

"Showtime!" Shinji watched as the giant, spidery form of the Ninth Angel began it's approach...

**_'I am the Angel of Rain. My tears burn through the happiness of others and digs down to their darkest despairs. I am the Ninth of my kind. I am Matariel. I am here...'_**  


* * *

To Be Continued.


	13. Ch 2 Act XIII: LILITH!

**Evangelion Next Genesis**  
**Ch. 2: You Can (Most Likely Not) Advance**  
**Act XIII: LILITH!**

"Man, that Angel was easy to kill!" Shinji smiled.

"Too easy," Asuka growled, "We didn't even see Jet Alone, so we couldn't show him up."

"Now let's not get angry," Rei spoke calmly, "The important thing is that the Angel is defeated."

"Yeah..." Asuka sighed. This was going to be a bit of a disappointment...

* * *

As the three Evas returned to base, everyone was relieved that another Angel was gone. Gendo Ikari was busy... contemplating.

"Shinji is doing very well," Kaji noted, "I guess his attitude helps with his effectiveness."

"It wasn't meant to be like this," Gendo noted.

"Huh?"

"Shinji's attitude was unanticipated," Gendo growled, "When he first came here, I was prepared for a kid that has so many mental problems, I would have to threaten to use Rei as the pilot to motivate him. What I got proved too hard to control."

"Must be luck," Kaji smiled, "Shinji is a wild card, sure, but he's our most effective Angel-slayer. He got the Evas to freaking combine! That is just awesome."

"Considering the Evangelion's nature, it shouldn't be possible..." Gendo narrowed his eyes, "I'm not sure his effectiveness comes from his attitude..."

* * *

Far below, IT slumbered.

Waiting.

Waiting for its freedom.

It waited patiently, simulating the other to attract the Angels, hoping that it would be freed by their quest for completion.

And it will wait...

* * *

"So, Shinji, why are you staring at that elevator control panel?" Asuka asked.

"Some of these buttons lead to places we've never seen," Shinji smirked, pressing a button labeled, 'L'

"Why did you press that button?" Asuka asked.

"I'm curious," Shinji replied, "And what I'm curious about, I seek out."

"What are you," Asuka raised an eyebrow, "An explorer?"

"Of course," Shinji replied, "Just who the hell do you think I am?"

"Are you going to keep saying that?" Asuka asked, "It gets really boring..."

"NEVER!" Shinji shouted, "I will always..."

*DING*

"Oh, hey, we're here," Shinji noted.

As the door opened, both Shinji and Asuka felt a presence more powerful then anything... and saw the source.

Pinned on a giant, cross-shaped piece of metal, it held a presence unlike any other. It felt like both an Angel and a human. On it's face, a mask portraying six eyes spied down upon the two. The white body looked like a human's, but without legs, which were replaced by white tendrils.

"What the hell is that?" Asuka asked.

"It looks like some sort of Angel-Human hybrid monster thing," Shinji pointed out, "I wonder if it's dead..."

"It's not," a familiar voice spoke.

Turning, they saw none other than fellow pilot Rei... and Rei... and Rei...

"HOW MANY OF YOU ARE THERE, REI!" Shinji screamed.

"Only six of us, not counting your Rei," One Rei spoke, "And technically, we're not YOUR Rei. My name is Kimi."

"Ryoko."

"Deizu."

"Shimo."

"Ichiko."

"Keiko."

"Okay, so there are more then one Rei Ayanami," Shinji noted, "This is... well, confusing. I mean, if Rei was injured, why couldn't one of YOU pilot it?"

"Because we aren't exactly stable," Ichiko replied, "If we were ever exposed to an Angel's AT Field, we'd break down into LCL. So, we stay here for our own protection."

"There is only ONE Angel without that effect," Deizu added.

"Really?" Asuka asked, "Which one?"

All six of the Rei-duplicates (Ree?) pointed to something behind them. Asuka and Shinji turned and saw that the thing on the cross had SOMEHOW managed to get down.

_I THINK. MY POWER HAS GENERATED ALL THAT LIVES ON THIS BLUE SPHERE. I AM THE TRUE ANCESTOR. I AM LILITH. I AM HERE._

A brief moment of silence based before 'Lilith' looked down.

_WHY HELLO, SHINJI. BEEN A LONG TIME, HASN'T IT?_

_**CHAPTER 2 END  
**_


	14. Ch 3 Act XIV: MALICE!

Evangelion Next Genesis  
Ch. 3: You Will (Most Likely) Die  
Act XIV: MALICE!

"Wh... What?" Shinji replied, "You know me?"

INDEED. WHEN YOU FIRST ENTERED THE EVANGELION, I BECAME AWARE OF YOUR PRESENCE THROUGH THE THOUGHTS OF THE SOUL OF THE EVA. I FELT YOUR POWER WHEN YOU DEFEATED THE ANGEL OF THE MORNING.

"Anything else I should know?" Shinji asked.

YES. THERE WERE GOING TO BE THREE MORE ANGELS UNTIL YOUR BIGGEST CHALLENGE, BUT SAHAQUIEL AND IRUEL DECIDED TO ATTACK CHINA TO DISTRACT YOUR SUPERIORS. LUCKILY, ANOTHER PILOT NAMED MARI ILLUSTRIOUS MAKINAMI BEAT THEM IN EVA 05.

"Right..." Shinji replied.

"So, when's the next Angel?" Asuka asked, "You must know."

WELL, LELIEL TURNED TAIL, SO, IF YOU WANT MY ADVICE, ASUKA, DON'T PILOT EVANGELION UNIT 03 WHEN IT GETS HERE. IT WON'T BE PRETTY.

"Another Eva?" Asuka asked, "Why can't I pilot it?"

**TRUST ME. IT ISN'T GOING TO END WELL.**  


* * *

10 days of boredom later...

"Evangelion Unit 03 has arrived," Gendo informed the Eva Pilots, "Due to legal issues, we cannot operate more then three Evangelions at a time."

"Which either means we're trashing one Eva, or keeping Boomstick and 02 in combined form," Misato noted, "Commander Ikari favors storing 02."

"So it's either keeping Asuka's Eva on my back 24/7, or leaving Eva 02 in a locker and Asuka screaming at me for having something she doesn't anymore?" Shinji asked, "Permission to speak freely?"

"Granted," Gendo replied.

"Forgive my rudeness," Shinji continued, "but **_THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL I'M ALLOWING THAT!_** You can put 00 or Boomstick, but I'm not going through with **_that!_**"

Gendo smirked. He knew Shinji would act like this. He's predictable now.

"The decision is carried through," Gendo replied, "Unit 02 will be put into storage."

"_NO!_" Shinji screamed, "**_COMMANDER GENDO, I WILL NOT ALLOW THIS! EVEN IF I HAVE TO RIP APART REI'S EVA, I WILL NOT SEE ASUKA RIPPING ON ME LIKE THAT!_**"

"Oh, and Shinji will no longer be allowed to pilot Eva 01 after the activation test," Gendo added.

Shinji stood silent.

Silence.

Silence.

And then...

"_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_"  


* * *

SEELE HQ

"Eva 03 has arrived at NERV-Japan," 01 intoned.

"Interesting," Kaworu smirked, "And 06?"

"Currently-" 01 attempted to reply, but something interrupted the two.

"_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_"  


* * *

(Nobody Dies Continuity.)

"So, we're clear that we're just friends, Zyuu?" A blue-haired Shinji Ikari asked a Rei-Clone in a French Maid outfit.

"Well," Zyuu smirked, "No. I'm still-"

"_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_"

And so, the Shinji Ikari of one world heard the scream of another.  


* * *

Distant Future...

"Your Drill is the Drill that'll pierce the heavens!" A certain blue-haired Badass told his younger brother.

"Sure, Bro, whatever," Simon the Digger sighed.

Suddenly,

"_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_"

And so, Kamina and Simon were disturbed for a day.  


* * *

"_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_"

Shinji finished his long scream, and coughed. Aoba gave him a cup of water, which Shinji gulped down in one go. Shinji cleared his throat, then walked out without a word.

Just a raised middle finger.  


* * *

"Okay, we're beginning the test," Aoba noted.

"Evas 00 and 02 are in position," Matoko added.

"Where's Shinji?" Misato asked.

"Wouldn't get out of his closet," Asuka replied from Eva 02's cockpit, "Kept muttering, 'I'll kill you, Gendo.'"

"Disturbing," Misato replied, "Anyway, begin the operation!"  


* * *

Eva 03 was a black-armored giant, with red eyes. All restraints detached, and the Eva walked forward two paces before it started roaring.

"The Eva is going berserk!" Asuka shouted, "Engage!"

And Asuka charged forward, only to be smacked aside by a tail that had somehow grown out of the Eva.

I AM THE ANGEL OF HAZE. MY INFLUENCE CORRUPTS ALL IN MY WAY. I AM THE THIRTEENTH OF MY KIND. I AM BARDIEL. I HAVE ARRIVED.

"Oh, THAT'S what Lilith meant," Asuka noted.

**TOLD YOU**, Lilith thoughtspoke.  


* * *

To Be Continued.


	15. Ch 3 Act XV: NIGHTMARE!

**Evangelion Next Genesis**  
**Ch. 3: You Will (Most Likely) Die**  
**Act XV: NIGHTMARE!**

"Unit 03 has been classified as the Thirteenth Angel," Gendo Ikari spoke with a solemn voice, "Rei, Asuka, you two are to remove the entry plug from Unit 03 before moving in to dispose of Unit 03 itself."

"Pardon me for asking, but where is Ikari?" Rei asked.

"I have no idea," Gendo replied, "Perhaps he's mad about my decision to reassign piloting of Unit 01."

"DAMN RIGHT I AM!" A voice yelled from a nearby ventilation shaft. Said ventilation shaft collapsed, revealing Shinji himself. Shinji stood up, dusted himself off, then glared at Gendo.

"The activation of Unit 03 was unsuccessful, so you can continue your piloting of Unit 01," Gendo replied.

"And?" Shinji replied.

"I'm sorry for threatening to take away Units 02 and 01," Gendo added.

"Thanks, commander, but I really wanted these," Shinji smiled before swiping away Gendo's sunglasses and putting them on.

Gendo watched him go, then reached into his drawer and pulled a pair of identical sunglasses out. He then put them on.

"I knew keeping a second pair was a good idea," Gendo deadpanned.  


* * *

As Unit 01 rose, Shinji smiled.

"Well, Boomstick," Shinji put on Gendo's glasses, "Let's do this."

The Eva's eyes shined green for a second. Shinji's glasses suddenly transformed into a pair of blue Kamina shades.  


* * *

As Eva 03 grappled with Eva 02, Asuka narrowed her eyes.

"Geez, this thing's tougher then I thought," Asuka growled, "Mein Gott..."

"ASUKA!"

Asuka turned to the voice, recognizing it.

"Shinji?"

"Let's combine!"

Asuka smiled, "You got it!"

Tossing off Eva 03, Asuka's Eva jumped up. The Shoulder Pylons shifted back to a wing-like position. The arms rotated up, and the lower legs detached from the Eva. Boomstick jumped up from his launching pad, and fired twin drills from its back, which embedded in Unit 02, then retracted, dragging 02 onto the back. Boomstick's chest transformed to resemble 02's face, and 02's legs combined on Boomstick's Shoulder Pylons. The entire result shifted in color to a Red and Purple color-scheme.

"Neverending power is unlocked here!" Asuka shouted, "Eva 02!"

"And the Future is Pierced, along with the heavens!" Shinji shouted, "Boomstick Eva 01!"

"INFINITE RAGE COMBINING!" Both yelled, "GRENLAGAN!"

"Who the hell do you think we are?" Shinji added.

Unit 03 looked at the creature before it. Bardiel growled. And between the two, the pilot stared with a shocked look on his/her face.

Bardiel then turned to see Unit 00 charging. Bardiel smirked, then grabbed Unit 00 and formed a similar combination to Unit 00.

ANGELIC FUSION! DARK GRENLAGANN!

"..." Asuka and Shinji stared.

"YOU'RE RIPPING OFF MY SCHTIK!" Shinji roared.

IT WASN'T ALWAYS YOURS.

And the two got into a heated argument, which became an epic battle that's too epic to write.

LAZY.

Shut up, Bardiel. You're not supposed to break the fourth wall. Well, where was I? Oh yeah, the battle was so epic, I can only write the end.

By this point, Both GrenLagan and Dark GrenLagann had been reduced to Evangelion 03/Bardiel and Boomstick, and Boomstick had gone berserker and ripped apart Bardiel.

OH, THE PAIN!

Yeah. And then he crushed the Entry plug.

"NO! BAD BOOMSTICK!" Shinji yelled, "Well, I hope nobody I know is in there."

Then the entry plug opened, revealing an unconscious (and bloody) Touji Suzuhara.

"... Oh," Shinji spoke, "Well, this kinda sucks. I hope he's not mad at me for that."  


* * *

LATER, AT THE HOSPITAL...

"So... are you alright?" Hikari asked.

"Well, aside from some mental scarring, yeah," Touji smirked, "I should be out in about a week."

"That's a relief," Hikari sighed.

"... Soooo, where's Shinji?" Touji asked.

"He's a little mad at himself," Hikari replied, "He sorta blames himself for the mental scarring."

"Okay," Touji sighed, "Knowing him, he'll get over it."  


* * *

"GRAAAAGH!" Shinji roared, "WHY?"

Don't worry, he'll get over it.  


* * *

To Be Continued.


	16. Ch 3 Act XVI: ODDITIES!

Evangelion Next Genesis

Ch. 3: You Will (Most Likely) Die

Act XVI: ODDITIES!

Shinji was troubled. Normally, he'd be walking down the street to school with a bored look on his face. Today, it was different.

Three days ago, he had destroyed an Angel-Possessed Evangelion Unit 03, but accidentally hurt the pilot in the process. This wouldn't be a problem, except that the pilot was one of his classmates and friends, one Touji Suzuhara. Luckily, it didn't kill him, just mental scarring that Touji got over quickly.

However, the effect on Shinji's conscience managed to keep him quiet for a few days.

"Why couldn't I stop?" Shinji asked himself, "Because of me, Touji got hurt. This isn't right..."

Shinji eventually entered the school and sat down in his regular seat.

"Class, we have a new student today," The teacher pointed out.

"I don't care," Shinji sighed.

"This is Mana Kirishima," The teacher indicated a girl standing in front of the class, dark maroon hair surrounding pretty features, "Make sure you make her feel welcome."

Shinji raised an eyebrow. Nothing else.

After school, Shinji decided the fact that she showed up too conveniently, right after the Bardiel incident. Shinji thus decided the best way to figure out her motive for showing up was to follow Mana back to her house, where her guard was down. Then, at that point, he would interrogate her.

What, were you expecting something else? Sicko.

As he trailed her, Shinji began having a feeling in his gut. A feeling something bad was going to happen…

* * *

NERV Science Department

"Samples of the Angel's liquid remains suggest that the Angels are somehow related to humans," Ritsuko Akagi noted, "So, I'm inserting a sample of human blood collected from pilots Ikari, Suzuhara, and Soryu-Shikanami in an attempt to see what may occur."

"Isn't that dangerous?" Maya asked, "I mean, it could wind up making horrible monsters!"

"Maybe," Ritsuko replied, "But hey, it gives me something to do."

"I may have a crush on you, but I think you're insane," Maya replied.

Ritsuko, shrugging, inserted the blood of the pilots into the samples of lifeblood from some of the angels.

BOOM!

One explosion later, and standing before them were three clones of Shinji Ikari, Touji Suzuhara, and Asuka Langley Soryu-Shikinami.

NAKED clones.

"Wow, so THIS is what Shinji looks like naked," Ritsuko replied, "I've seen better."

The Shinji clone, blue hair waving slightly narrowed his blood-red eyes, and then uttered one word while swinging his arm toward Ritsuko...

"BITCHSLAP!"

And Ritsuko wound up unconscious on a nearby wall.

Maya ran to check up on Ritsuko, but the maroon-haired Asuka clone unleashed a laser tentacle and tripped Maya up.

The green haired Touji clone then raised his hand and fired a long, glowing lance from his palm, through the door, and the three ran out.

"Dammit, Rits," Maya growled, "You singlehandedly doomed us all."

* * *

Meanwhile, Shinji watched intently, as Mana shopped at a clothing store.

Yeah, moving on.

* * *

"I cannot believe this," The Shinji clone snarked, "through the powers of the Lilim's technology, we, my brethren, have returned from, as they call it, beyond the grave."

"HOLY LILITH!" The Touji clone screamed, "A ZOMBEH!"

"You've been revived the same way, so technically, you're a zombie, too," The Shinji clone replied, "You twit."

"Oh, right," The Touji clone sighed.

"Guys," The Asuka clone noted, "We've got to get out of here before the Lilim find us."

"Noted," the Shinji clone replied, "Anything else?"

"Yeah, we're gonna need clothes."

"Good point."

And so, the three raided nearby lockers and stole plugsuits.

"Nope," the Touji clone replied, "STILL feel naked."

"I swear to Father, I will shiv you," the Shinji clone sighed.

* * *

"Ow..." Shinji rubbed his head, "Maybe I SHOULDN'T have trailed her."

Whatever happened, all I know is that it involved a girl, a boy, an accident in a store's dressing room, and a chainsaw.

* * *

"Man, what a day at school," Asuka sighed, "I feel like crap."

As she walked to her locker at NERV, she suddenly saw people resembling Shinji, Touji, and herself talking.

"New NERV employees?" Asuka asked, "Curious..."

Asuka then noticed the girl was wearing a plugsuit. HER plugsuit.

"HEY!" Asuka yelled, "You're wearing my plugsuit, DUMBKOFF!"

The girl turned to her, revealing blood-red eyes.

"Who... who are you?" Asuka asked in shock.

"I am the Angel of the Morning, Shamshel," the Asuka-clone replied, smiling all the while.

"Angel of the Water, Sachiel," The Touji-clone added.

"And I am the Angel of Thunder, Ramiel!" the Shinji-Clone shouted, "Thanks to your foolish human curiosity, WE HAVE RETURNED!"

"... Oh, great," Asuka sneered.


	17. Ch 3 Act XVII: POWER!

Evangelion Next Genesis  
Ch. 3: You Will (Most Likely) Die  
Act XVII: POWER!

The locker was a mess. Some of the lockers were destroyed, some smashed. One in particular held an unconscious Asuka.

"Get pilot Soryu-Shikanami to the medical wing," Gendo commanded the staff as he examined the scene before him.

As the medical officers retrieved Asuka, Gendo Ikari saw that one of the walls had writing carved in it. If he had been able to read English, he would've seen the words, "Sachiel Wuz Heer, BEYOTCH!"  


* * *

As the reincarnated forms of the first three Angels walked down the streets in their plugsuits, they began to notice the amount of people looking at them.

"These outfits are too noticeable," Ramiel, who looked like a blue-haired Shinji, noted, "We're bound to get spotted."

"By who?" Sachiel, who took on the form of a green-haired Touji, asked.

"By those damn humans serving SELEE or NERV or whatever," Ramiel replied, "They can't know we're Angels!"

"Too late," Shamshel, who took on Asuka's form, pointed out, as several humans were already staring.

A brief moment of silence and disbelief passed before the three moved on, whistling all the while.

It wasn't an hour later when the three entered a clothing store. Each of them picked up a shirt, underwear, a bra for Shamshel, and shorts, before changing in the dressing room and began to leave the store.

"Hang on, you have to pay for those," A store clerk pointed out.

Sachiel then used a laser lance to impale said store clerk.

Another guy then pressed a button for the police.

"Oops, got attention," Sachiel noted.

"DADDAMMIT, SACHIEL, THINK BEFORE YOU ACT!" Ramiel roared.  


* * *

"Sir, police have been called to the Tokyo-3 General Clothing Store," Shigeru Aoba noted, "Reports are coming in about the thieves resembling Shinji, Asuka, and Touji."

"Ritsuko, would you like to say something?" Maya smirked.

"It was just ONE experiment," Ritsuko pointed out, "ONE!"  


* * *

"Give it up!" The Police Chief yelled, "You are surrounded!"

"Do they seriously think they're that powerful?" Shamshel asked, "They're stupid and lack fashion sense."

"Says the girl who used to look like a giant flying reproductive organ," Ramiel replied, "Anyway, I think we should get out of here before anything else can happen."

"But how?" Sachiel asked, "We're surrounded!"

"By humans," Ramiel pointed out, "And our AT Fields deflect their weapons."

"So, we're screwed," Sachiel replied.

"... yes, Sachiel, yes we are," Ramiel replied sarcastically.

"Tell you what, Sachi," Shamshel leered toward the Touji-Clone, "If we make it out alive, I'll kiss you~."

"YAY!" Sachiel then tore out of the store, AT Field up, deflecting bullets fired. Shamshel followed close behind with her whips removing any and all obstacles.

Ramiel walked calmly, using lasers out of his eyes to pick off the rest.  


* * *

"Touji," Shinji sighed, "Look, I'm sorry for any injuries you sustained. Deeply sorry."

"Dude, chill," Touji responded, "I'm not that hurt, and I forgive you."

"Wow, that was easy," Shinji replied.

That was when the two noticed a pillar of fire.  


* * *

"Again, THINK BEFORE YOU ACT!" Ramiel growled at Sachiel, "You've already attracted enough attention without the freaking PILLAR OF FIRE!"

"What pillar?" Sachiel asked, "All I see is a column."

"... You know what, Sachiel?" Ramiel sighed, "On second thought, fuel it. Throw yourself in."

"Won't that hurt?"

"No, it won't."

Sachiel then put his arm in.

"Yep," Sachiel noted, "Hurts a lot."

"End of the act, end of the act, end of the act," Ramiel chanted.

"What's with you, Rami-kun?" Shamshel asked.

"Happiest. Moment. Of my life..." Ramiel told himself.  


* * *

"So, what are we up against?" Shinji asked.

"A trio of angel-human hybrids causing trouble," Gendo replied, "Seeing as using an Eva would be overkill, we've readied armored plugsuits and will send you against the Angels."

"Good luck~!" Misato smiled.

"Huh?" Shinji suddenly was whisked away by technicians.  


* * *

Ramiel was busy berating Sachiel for a slashed lamppost when Shinji showed up. His armor looked an awful lot like Boomstick's, and his glasses added a whole other level.

"Oh, look, an Eva cosplayer," Ramiel sighed.

"Actually," Shinji smirked, "I'm Shinji Ikari, the pilot of Boomstick the Destroyer of Angels! FEAR ME!"

"I... Ikari?" Ramiel analyzed his thoughts for a minute.

Shinji told the truth.

"SON OF A G** D*** B****!" Ramiel roared, "WHY THE F*** DOES ALL THIS F****** S*** HAPPEN TO ME? F*** MY LIFE! ALWAYS SURROUNDED BY F****** C*******, LIKE THIS WHOLE WORLD LIKES TO BEND ME OVER AND F*** ME IN THE A**! WELL, AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, IKARI, YOU CAN GO F*** YOURSELF WITH A GOD DAMN PIG!"

"Wow, you said a lot of bad words," Sachiel replied.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" Ramiel screamed, "Sachiel, kill the guy before I do it to YOU!"

"Extremist," Sachiel commented, before engaging his laser lances.

Shinji then punched Sachiel in the face, before grabbing him and throwing him at Shamshel. Shamshel then was attacked by Shinji, who kicked her guts and pushed her head into the ground.

"What the?" Ramiel blinked, "That doesn't seem right..."

"Hey, Rami!" Shinji smirked, "You might remember this baby!"

Then he lifted a miniature positron cannon from nowhere and aimed it at the Angel.

"Oh, great, another cannon," Ramiel then blasted the cannon right out of Shinji's hand.

"Great," Shinji snarled.

Ramiel then looked at Sachiel.

"Uh... help?" Sachiel asked.

"You have become useless to me," Ramiel growled.

"What?" Shamshel asked, "Ramiel, what are you-"

And their dying screams pierced the heavens.

And in the end, Ramiel smiled.


	18. Ch 3 Act XVIII: RAMIEL!

**Evangelion Next Genesis**  
**Ch. 3: You Will (Most Likely) Die  
Act XVIII: RAMIEL!**

"The fifth Angel has returned," 01 intoned, "As a result, we have reobtained the positron cannon and are ready to act agressively."

"Indeed," Gendo Ikari replied, "Pilot Ikari has already engaged the Angel in a prototype armored plugsuit, and if the situation gets out of control, Unit 01 will engage with the Positron cannon."

"Do not fail us, Ikari," 01 intoned, "For your sake."

* * *

"HA HA HA HA!" Ramiel laughed, "HE'S GONE! HE'S FINALLY GONE! I'M SO HAPPY, I MIGHT NOT EVEN SLAUGHTER THIS TOWN!"

"Really?" Shinji replied.

"No, it's all screwed," Ramiel smirked, "FEAR MY LAZORFACE!"

Shinji dodged a red laser fired from Ramiel's eyes, and countered with a gunshot... which was deflected by Ramiel's AT Field.

"Dammit," Shinji growled, then fired another bullet. Bullet after bullet, Ramiel's AT Field withstood, Ramiel smiling all the while.

* * *

Blue eyes reopened.

"What, where, who, why!" Asuka noted to herself.

She was sort-of unsure as to what happened, she was in the hospital, herself, and she didn't know why.

She then remembered that she got her ass kicked by a clone of herself with maroon hair, the "What."

She then noticed a slight blue patch on her forehead, the "Why."

"Well, that explains everything."

* * *

Meanwhile, the battle wasn't going so well for Shinji. Ramiel had managed to get to an evolutionary status that showed his genome - he looked more like a Ben 10 Alien, Diamondhead, I think, then much else.

EAT LASER, IKARI! Ramiel roared, as he fired another laser.

Shinji dodged this laser, and another, and another.

THIS BORES ME!

"Well, SORRY!" Shinji smirked, "Guess you're too pathetic!"

GRAGGGH! Ramiel roared, and evolved another level - an EVA-SIZED Diamondhead clone.

"Oh, shit," Ikari sighed.

* * *

The NERV base was busy with activity. People were panicking like crazy, and Misato stood, one pillar of sanity among a sea of insanity.

"Enough!" Misato shouted, "Get Pilot Ikari in here and Launch the EVA!"

That was when a huge hole was punched in the ceiling, and Shinji fell in.

"OW!" Shinji rubbed his head, "That hurt."

* * *

Ramiel was busy smashing buildings when one opened, revealing Boomstick. Inside the cockpit, Shinji smirked.

"This is going to be too easy," Shinji remarked to himself, "Okay, Angel, let's dance!"

LET'S.

Ramiel then shape-shifted and fired a laser. Shinji then raised an AT Field, which deflected the laser. Then, he smiled.

"Harder AT Field," Shinji snarked, "Gotta love it."

Ramiel growled, then charged, arms shifted into spikes.

DIE, IKARI!

Shinji then took the Eva's glasses and ran them right through the core.

"What was that?" Shinji smirked, "Couldn't hear you over the sound of my glasses going into your core."

The crystal shattered, and the core reduced to lifeblood... and Ramiel's human body, with a few scars.

Shinji peered down at the pathetic clone, and sniffed.

"Commander Ikari," Shinji spoke, "Get this guy to a medical ward. If he lives, I decide what to do with him."

* * *

A day later...

Gendo stood in front of a long table. On the other, Ramiel, in the form of a blue-haired Shinji Ikari.

"So, Angel," Gendo spoke in the most professional manner, "Tell me, why are you attacking us?"

"We aren't after you pests, we come to this place to complete ourselves and ascend," Ramiel replied, "You stand in our way, so we remove you. It's common sense, really."

"And how will you ascend?" Gendo looked upon him.

"We reunite with Father," Ramiel smirked, "And I think you know who I'm talking about, Gendo Ikari."

"ADAM."

"Yes, that is what you call him officially," Ramiel snarled, "We sensed him here and followed. But something doesn't add up."

"Which would be?"

"I can feel him below my feet, and yet, he also seems to be emanating from your right hand," Ramiel looked down, confused.

"The only things down there are failed Evangelions, Rei clones with personalities," Gendo sighed, "And the mother of humanity, who keeps CALLING ME and telling me to move on from my dead wife, a victim of Evangelion Unit 01."

"Mother of humanity?" Ramiel raised an eyebrow, "So, LILITH is imitating Father."

"It would appear so," Gendo nodded.

"Zeruel's not going to like this," Ramiel chuckled.

Gendo then left. He knew what he needed to.

"Foolish Lilim," Ramiel sighed.

_RAMIEL... RAMIEL..._

Ramiel looks around. No human, and if an Angel was around, he would've sensed it by now.

_RAMIEL... RAMIEL..._

Still no one.

"W... what?" Ramiel asked.

Turning, he saw a transparent green-haired Touji. Sachiel.

_I'm haunting you._

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"


	19. Ch 3 Act XIX: SERAPHIM!

**Evangelion Next Genesis**  
**Ch. 3: You Will (Most Likely) Die**  
**Act XIX: SERAPHIM!**

"So, according to the Angel, A Fourteenth Angel, Zeruel, is coming," Misato noted, "According to our research, Zeruel is the Angel of Strength, and his name translates to 'Arm of God.' Therefore, we can assume this Zeruel is stronger then other angels you've faced before."

"Okay," Shinji replied, "So, what?"

"We're going to have to go through endurance training," Asuka elaborated, "BAKA!"

"Indeed," Rei added.

"So now what?" Shinji raised an eyebrow, "You're going to put us through intense physical training?"

"Rei and Asuka will only have endurance training, since they've already trained physically," Misato replied, "Shinji will be attending the most physical martial arts classes we have within the limits of the city."

"Damn Angel can't get here soon enough," Shinji growled.

The next day, at school, Shinji was bored as all hell. Again. Of course, Touji had returned to school, so that was a good sign.

"Hey," a soft feminine voice behind Shinji spoke.

Shinji turned around and saw Mana.

"If you're mad at me for anything, tell Asuka to beat me up," Shinji snarked, "At least with her, I have a chance."

"Oh, no, I was going to say sorry for that beating I gave you yesterday," Mana replied, "I guess you can't ignore your hormones."

"Yeah, that's it," Shinji chuckled, hiding his suspicions.

"So, you're the pilot of Eva Unit 01," Mana sat on a desk right next to Shinji's, "What's that like?"

"Pretty cool," Shinji replied, "Piloting a giant robot. Nothing like it."

"Yeah, I know," Mana smirked, "I happen to pilot a giant robot of my own."

"Oh yeah?" Shinji replied, "Which one?"

"A certain Jet Alone," Mana smirked.

Shinji's face was priceless.

* * *

Rei Ayanami entered the room imprisoning Ramiel. Ramiel, in the form of Shinji Ikari with blue hair, was currently muttering something. Turning, he saw Rei walking in.

"What do you want, human?"

"You may have information on my origins Commander Ikari could not disclose," Rei replied, "Disclose it."

"What can you give me in exchange?"

"Freedom."

"... I'm talking," Ramiel smirked.

* * *

"So, how's piloting THAT hunk of junk?" Shinji asked Mana.

"Jet Alone's not junk," Mana remarked, "If anything, it's more practical then your dumb Evangelion."

"Boomstick isn't dumb," Shinji snapped, "And what do you mean, 'More Practical?'"

"It runs out of power after 5 minutes without that power cable," Mana pointed out, "And MY Jet Alone can run off its own power indefinitely."

"What does YOUR Jet Alone run off of?"

"Nuclear Energy."

"... Freakin' metal," Shinji smirked.

* * *

"So, you mean I'm a clone of someone Gendo knew, and that I was created to serve his goal of completion?" Rei noted, "Curious. I had no idea."

"Truth hurts, kid," Ramiel smirked.

"Indeed," Rei noted, "The truth can be shocking."

"True, true," Ramiel noted.

After a minute of silence, Ramiel's eyes widened.

"Is there something wrong?" Rei asked.

"No... they couldn't exist, not now!" Ramiel looked around.

"Who are they?" Rei asked.

"There were supposed to be only seventeen of us," Ramiel growled, "However, the death of a clone of father unleashed ten more Angels. They are perversions, beings that shouldn't exist..."

"What do you call these angels?" Rei asked.

"... The Seraphim," Ramiel replied, "And, already, one has come to this land. I'd run, but it'll track me down."

"So, even though you have your freedom, you'll stay?" Rei asked.

"Of course," Ramiel smirked, "As my template would say, just who the hell do you think I am?"

* * *

On the shores of Tokyo-3, a girl stood. This was the Seraphim, in the form of a young girl with purple-blue hair and pigtails.

_**I am the Angel of Punishment. My power strikes down on those beyond the lines of good behavior. I am Kushiel...**_

_**But you can call me Dokuro! Tee-Hee! :3**_


	20. Ch 3 Act XX: THUNDER!

Evangelion Next Genesis  
Ch. 3: You Will (Most Likely) Die  
Act XX: THUNDER!

As the Angel of Punishment walked the streets of Tokyo-3, she looked around. Nobody noticed the odd hair color. The halo.

"Hey, you!"

Kusiel - AKA Dokuro - turned around to see a blue-haired boy charging toward her. An AT Field stopped him right in his path.

"Who are you?" Dokuro asked.

"My name is Ramiel," The boy replied, "Former Angel of Thunder, and the fifth of my kind. But now, I am no ultimate lifeform. I am no Angel."

Ramiel ripped right through the AT Field like it was nothing.

"I'm something even better," Ramiel smirked.

"What are you, Angel of Thunder?" Dokuro raised an eyebrow.

Ramiel charged again, fist crystallized.

"I AM A MAN!"

And Dokuro felt the pain of being hit with the world's hardest crystal.

* * *

"How'd the Angel get out?" Gendo asked.

"Apparently, he still has those laser powers," Fuyutsuki guessed.

"Well, that girl's not a Rei-Clone, so we'll classify her as an Angel," Gendo shrugged.

"Seraphim," Rei replied.

"Pardon?" Gendo turned to her, puzzled.

"The girl is a Seraphim," Rei clarified, "The Angel turned sides after sensing her."

"Intriguing," Gendo smiled.

"Beat ya!" Mana cheered, "Again!"

"This game is rigged!" Shinji roared, "I hate DDR!"

"I thought you liked this game."

"I PLAY BEATMANIA AND AUDIOSURF, ALRIGHT!"

By this point, the fight between Dokuro and Ramiel had turned ugly, metallic spiky batton versus crystalline sword.

"DIE, YOU PERVERSION!" Ramiel roared.

"DIE, YOU FREAK!" Dokuro roared back.

The carnage their battle had caused was just... AWFUL.

* * *

As Shinji and Mana were busy competing to figure out which one was better, they failed to notice the Angel fight...

Until a certain LAZOR struck through a nearby building.

"Ramiel?" Shinji looked to see Ramiel, in full Angel mode, trying hard to kill a girl with an AT Field.

"Here we go again," Shinji sighed, until his ring tone alerted him.

"Ohaiyo!" Shinji spoke into the phone.

"_Ikari, Ramiel made an alliance with NERV,_" Rei spoke over the phone, "_The girl is Kusiel, a Seraphim-class Angel, and the real enemy. Do not engage._"

That was when Ramiel got thrown into a wall and knocked out.

"Sorry, Rei, but I'm gonna have to call a negative on that," Shinji smirked, "Go time."

* * *

"Lousy fool!" Dokuro growled, "This has gone on long enough!"

"I could not agree more!" Ramiel transformed his arm into a crystaline object not unlike a cannon, "THUNDER... BREAK!"

A yellow beam of light streaked toward Dokuro. Dokuro established an AT Field to stop it. The beam... went right through, striking her shoulder.

"KYA!" Dokuro screamed. Watching the damage heal instantly, Dokuro looked back at where Ramiel was standing.

Seeing nothing but air, she looked around. Left, right, forward, behind.

And up, to see Ramiel shapeshifting to form something large.

It towers over everyone, every building. It resembles a spiky banana with eyes and a mouth. Any TTGL fan nearby would have recognized it as a blue duplicate of King Kittan.

And it is looking at her.

_I AM THE ANGEL OF THUNDER. MY POWER SOUNDS THROUGH THE HEAVENS WHEN LIGHTING STRIKES DOWN. I AM THE FIFTH OF MY KIND, AND CHANGED TO THE SIDE OF THE LILIM. I AM RAMIEL - KING KITTAN EDITION!_

_AND YOU, KUSIEL, ARE THE FIRST TO GO!_

Then, The Angel of Punishment was attacked by the Angel of Thunder, in the form of a Gunmen.

OH YEAH.

* * *

As Shinji ran to the Entry plug, clad in his plugsuit, he put on his blue Kamina shades.

"Alright, Boomstick," Shinji smirked, "Let's do this."

* * *

By this point, Kusiel/Dokuro had gone full angel, resembling an oversized human with about six wings. Ramiel, on the other hand, had become a blue version of Space King Kittan, armed with a crystalline sword and AT Shield.

YOU FOOL! Kusiel roared, I AM A SEPHARIM, A CLASS ABOVE YOU!

I AM AN ANGEL OF THE ORIGINAL ADAM! Ramiel replied, I AM SUPERIOR IN EVERY WAY TO YOU! EAT LAZOR!

A laser struck toward and blasted Kusiel in the head. As she regenerated, she growled, cursing revenge.

A finger tap on her shoulder turned her around. A smiling monster with sunglasses. A glowing spire...

Three words, and she was gone...

"AT! GIGADRILL! BREAKER!"

* * *

As the streets were covered by Sepharim Lifeblood, Ramiel smirked.

"It's done," Ramiel spoke in his human voice, "I'll have to thank you, Lilim."

"Good to know," Shinji smiled, "Let's get back to base."

"Great idea," Ramiel smiled back, "And by the way, Shinji?"

"Yeah?"

"When I leave for my own travels, you can keep the Rami-King Kittan AND the sunglasses."

* * *

Somewhere, on the moon, a giant facility housed an armored giant.

And on top of its head...

Kaworu Nasiga smiled.

"I look forward to seeing you again," He spoke, "Shinji Ikari."

**CHAPTER 3 END**


	21. Ch 4 Act XXI: UNDERSTANDING!

Evangelion Next Genesis  
Ch. 4: You Will (Probably) Understand!  
Act XXI: UNDERSTANDING!

Twas' a week before Christmas, and all through Tokyo-3, People were shopping for their birds and bees.

They purchased gifts and treats of all sorts, shopping in the city and at the ports.

They knew that in a week, their hard work would be done, and everyone was happy, all except one.

"I don't get it, Rei," Asuka told her emotionless female friend, "Why isn't Shinji happy that Christmas is coming?"

"Unknown," Rei replied, "Perhaps it is because of an occurrence in his past."

"I know, we can do a Christmas Carol situation in which a ghost shows Shinji his past," Asuka smirked, "So that he can see the true meaning of Christmas."

"But how?"

"Ramiel," Asuka smirked.

* * *

"You want me to do what?" Ramiel asked.

"Hack into Shinji's mind to make him relive his past when I show up as the Ghost of Christmas Past," Asuka replied.

"What you proposed makes me wanna kill you even more," Ramiel sighed, "But if I do, Shinji will find out, get mad, and turn me into a fruit."

"... How can he turn you into a fruit?" Asuka asked.

"He's badass, that's how," Ramiel replied.

"Well, time for plan B," Asuka sighed, "Operation, Snowman."

* * *

A few days had passed, and Asuka's plan, populated Tokyo-3 with dozens of snowmen.

Each and every snowperson held in his hands, a message to spread good cheer throughout the land.

"Merry Christmas, Shinji Ikari."

"She did," Ramiel sighed, "And where'd all the snow for all these things come from, anyway? I thought Second Impact made it summer year-round."

"It just appeared overnight," Misato replied, "Strange that it didn't melt in the heat."

"Snow's not naturally this enduring unless..." Ramiel's voice trailed off, and his eyes pulled up to see...

A clone of Sachiel with white skin, blacken bones, and 12 wings of AT Field.

"Sach, stop playing around," Ramiel groaned.

"That's not me," Ghost Sachiel appeared next to him.

"Then that could only be..." Ramiel growled, "... A Seraphim!"

I AM THE ANGEL OF THE SNOW! MY POWER EXTENDS LIKE A FROSTY BREEZE THROUGHOUT THE LAND! I AM SHAGIEL! I AM HERE!

"Oh, F- all kinds of stuff," Ramiel growled, "RAI KITTAN! ARISE!"

That was when every snowman in Tokyo-3 came to life.

SNOWZOMBIES! KILL THEM!

"Oh, great, Snowmen Zombies," Ramiel shifted his arms into cannons, "Dad, I REALLY need to get Seraphim before they show up."

And then, a certain blue-King Kittan clone popped up.

"Oh good, he's here," Ramiel smirked, "Misato, here's your ride."

"W... what?" Misato blinked.

Ramiel turned to her, smiling.

"F-ing metal," Misato smiled.

* * *

As Eva 00, Boomstick, and Eva 02 rose from the floors of Tokyo-3, Shagiel turned to them.

AH, THE EVANGELIONS. THE ANGEL-KILLERS. I'VE KNOWN OF YOUR EXISTENCE FOR SOME TIME. NOW, YOU FACE THE ANGEL OF THE SNOW. BE READY FOR-

And then a stab to the core reduced the Angel to lifeblood. A stab delivered by non other then the Ramiel-King Kittan.

"Oh yeah! I'm awesome, bitch!" Misato yelled.

"Good for you, Misato," Shinji growled, "You just stole my spotlight."

"Sorry, Shinji!"

* * *

"So, the Seraphim was eliminated by Commander Katsuragi," Gendo Ikari noted.

"Yep," Shinji replied.

"Piloting the King Kittan rip-off the Angel made."

"Indeed," Rei replied.

"And now said angel is dealing with the remnant of the Angel's snowman army?"

"Confirmed," Asuka replied.

"... Yeah, I REALLY need a vacation," Gendo sighed.

* * *

"So, Shinji..." Asuka scratched her head, "I've been wondering..."

"Yeah?" Shinji raised an eyebrow.

"You weren't really enthusiastic about Christmas coming..." Asuka replied, "Why is that?"

"Asuka, I don't celebrate Christmas since five years ago," Shinji snarked.

"Why not?"

"I converted to Judaism."

"You're Jewish?"

"Not since last year. I converted again to Lovecraftism."

* * *

Meanwhile, in a building in Tokyo-3...

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

And so the last of the Snowzombies fell.

"Boom," Ramiel smirked, deactivating the crystalline cannon on his arm, "Headshot."

As the Angel of Thunder walked out of the building, he didn't know that someone else was watching him. Someone who looked a lot like Shinji.

"Who was that? What was he doing?" The boy spoke in a timid voice.

"Where am I?"

* * *

A week later...

Asuka got a toothbrush, a pair of socks, a plushie Eva 02... and a Shinji action figure. She's taken to sleeping with the action figure.

Misato got a King Kittan toy. PenPen got a Gurren Lagann toy to complement it.

Gendo got his vacation in Australia. There, he met a group of AI programs called the Reego, and they had an adventure. It was awesome.

Shinji saw Yogi Bear in 3D. He destroyed the theater soon after.

Rei got nothing. All her deeds were neutral.

Ramiel got his own fanfiction. It will premiere on December 30th, 2015.

He also was haunted by three ghosts. And they were all Sachiel

And the boy that looked like Shinji... will get a bigger role in the next chapter.


	22. Ch 4 Act XXI: TIMERS!

**Evangelion Next Genesis**  
**Ch. 4: You will (Probably) Understand**  
**Act. XXI: TIMERS!**

ZZZZ... ZZZZ... ZZZZ...

It was early in the morning, and Asuka was asleep. In her head were dreams. Not normal dreams of puppies and kitties, or even the weird one where she's fending off zombie attacks.

No, in her dreams, she was watching Shinji humiliating himself.

In a strip club.

Yeah, Asuka is SLIGHTLY perverted.

"Yeah, Shinji," Asuka moaned, "Show off that flat stomach of yours... ZZZ... Pathetic..."

"Oh, how cute, she's dreaming about me being pathetic," Shinji commented.

That was when the timer went off, and Shinji ran off.  


* * *

At the NERV base, all was normal.

"Slow day today," Maya noted.

"Yeah, it is," Matoko added.

"Boring, as well," Aoba added.

"Fuyuutsuki, remind me to fire the person that fires people," Gendo spoke in a serious tone.

Everyone was sufficiently bored out of their minds. Except Shinji, who found something to do.

That something being working out at the gym as training.

"Man, this training was hard," Shinji noted, "But that's the point of it all!"

As he walking out of the gym, something caught his attention. Something that looked a lot like him.

"Huh?" Shinji blinked, "Who the hell is that guy? HEY, YOU!"

The lookalike noticed him and... ran?

"WAIT UP!" Shinji bolted after him.  


* * *

As the Shinji lookalike and Shinji ran through Tokyo-3, they began to see each other's personality through their moves. The lookalike ran defensively, and tried to hide every chance he got, showing to Shinji that he was a shy person, while Shinji's relentlessness was present in every move he made.

Eventually, the lookalike tripped, giving Shinji a chance to restrain him.

"Okay, kid," Shinji growled, "Identify yourself, or I rip off your arms. It's your choice."

"Sh... sh..." The lookalike stuttered.

"Yes, go on..." Shinji smiled.

"Shinji Ikari," the boy spoke.

"... I said identify YOURSELF, not ME," Shinji growled.

"MY NAME IS SHINJI IKARI!"

"... Look kid, I'm flattered by the look and all, but ripping off my name isn't coming close to completing your disguise!" Shinji replied, "Everyone who's anyone knows my reputation echos far and wide, its possessor a man of spirit, a paragon of total awesomeness! As if there could be more then one of the mighty Shinji Ikari!"

"Mighty?" The other guy chuckled, "No, I'm not mighty. I'm no paragon."

"Shut up!" Shinji roared, "That's it, I'm taking you to NERV for questioning!"

And so, Shinji spent the rest of the day dragging around a guy that looks like him and flinging the occasional "DUMBASS!" at him.  


* * *

"Well, genetically, physically, and soul-wise," Ramiel noted, "You and this person are pretty much the same person. I've dubbed this person, AlterShinji, after Asuka's crazy idea he's from some alternate universe. Rei says he's from Canon, but I have no idea what that means."

"So... this guy's another me," Shinji replied, "Well, so much for that inspirational speech I wrote about there being only one me."

"That speech was TOTALLY from Gurren Lagann, you know," Ramiel deadpanned.

"No, It's original," Shinji replied.

"Gurren Lagann."

"Original."

"Gurren Lagann."

"Original."

"Gurren Lagann."

"Original."

"Original."

"Gurren Lagann."

"You admit it!"

"No, you tricked me!"  


* * *

Meanwhile, Shinji Ikari (The Canon one) sat in the empty room, awaiting someone else to enter the room. The fact that the room was empty reminded him of the sadness and loneliness in his life. And he was sitting in a metal chair, but what was the point in pointing out that? A shout out to the end? HA!

"Look at him, all sad and lonely," Shinji noted, "But because of his presence here, he may be causing the slow discombobulation of the fabric of space-time. He must die."  


* * *

Meanwhile, outside the limits of Tokyo-3, a boat floated. On the boat was a new pilot for NERV.

"Watch out, Tokyo-3," A certain british-accented brown-haired female badass smiled, "Mari Illustrious Makinami is comin' to town!"

Cue Angel erupting from the ocean right underneath the boat.

"AHHHHHH!" Mari screamed, "GODDAMMIT!"

As the Angel walked forward, Mari coughed out some of the seawater and swam to the overturned boat.

"Looks like I'll be late," Mari growled.

_I AM THE ANGEL OF THE FLOOD_, The Angel, who looked like Sachiel on Steroids, thoughtspoke, _MY POWER ERUPTS LIKE A RAGING TIDAL WAVE. I AM TUREL. I AM HERE..._


	23. Ch 4 Act XXII: VICTORY!

Evangelion Next Genesis  
Ch. 4: You will (Probably) Understand  
Act. XXII: VICTORY!

Everyone at NERV was a bit confused. They had gotten used to Shinji beating the crap out of an Angel using drills made of AT Field. They had gotten used to having the advantage.

Yet, what they were watching was Boomstick, Eva-01, getting stabbed in the optical sensor by a laser lance.

Repeatedly.

"It seems we put the wrong Shinji in," Maya noted, "Orders?"

"Rei, Asuka, Retrive Eva-01 and return to base. Then, you two will continue the operation," Misato spoke into the intercoms.

"Roger," Both female pilots replied.

Gendo remained silent, seeing that the other Shinji was useless for other reasons.

"Sir, we've gotten a message from the Old Men," Fuyuutsuki noted, "The 'Eva Force MP' has entered Tokyo-3 airspace."

"Seems like they know the threat the Seraphim present," Gendo Ikari noted, "Rei, Asuka, you shall be receiving reinforcements to help your cause."

"Reinforcements?" Asuka replied, "What reinforcements?"

And about 5 minutes after they managed to get Evangelion 01 away from Turel and getting it, and the unconscious CanonShinji, into the base, Asuka got their answer.

Five beings landed in Tokyo-3. They came like vultures. Retracting their wings, they resembled Evangelions, but narrower in the chest and shoulders and wider in the hips, and apparently covered by the same reinforced plastic that coated the arms. Their heads were different, as the heads were missing eyes, and possessing mouths full of metallic teeth. And they were completely identical to each other, except for one thing...

Their colorscheme, including the crudely painted-on numbers.

Turel, seeing the potential danger, established an AT Field.

Not that it helped against five Lances of Longinus, reducing him to lifeblood.

Their mission done, the five MP Evangelions proceeded back to base.

* * *

"You suck, you know that?" Shinji told ... himself.

CanonShinji sighed. He had been told worst.

"Now, Other Me, it seems you have... issues fighting," Shinji noted, "Anyway I can help?"

"No..." CanonShinji replied, looking down even more.

"Listen, Other Me," Shinji got down to the guy's level, "I don't know what to do unless I have a little bit of BACKGROUND information."

"How can you help?" CanonShinji asked, raising his head up.

"I'm you. I think I know how you think."

ONE LONG MONOLOUGE EXPLAINING THE EVENTS FROM THE FIRST EPISODE TO END OF EVANGELION LATER...

"And then, I got up and walked away from Asuka, then fell down a hole, and wound up here," CanonShinji finished.

Shinji's eyes were as wide as dinner plates.

"WOW." Shinji spoke, "That was confusing in the end. I mean, Giant White Naked Reis? Evas are angels? Everyone reduced to LCL? Are you sure you weren't on something?"

* * *

Meanwhile, in the air...

Mari Illustrious Makinami floated down on the parachute, after she jumped out of the cargo plane flying over Tokyo-3.

"Okay, I'm entering Tokyo-3 as we speak. Hopefully, I don't miscaculate and fall on a briar bush," Mari noted.

That's when she saw a giant red humanoid winged angel flying nearby.

"CRAP."

_I AM THE ANGEL OF MESSAGES. MY POWER PROCLAIMS MY PRESENCE TO THOSE WHO FAIL TO SEE THE RIGHTEOUS WAY. I AM GABRIEL. I HAVE COME._


	24. Ch 4 Act XXIII: WAR!

_**Evangelion Next Genesis**_  
_**Ch. 4: You will (Probably) Understand**_  
_**Act. XXIII: WAR!**_

"Evangelion 01! Evangelion 02! Evangelion 00! Ready for launch!"

"Are all OFFICAL Pilots ready?"

"We have confirmed Rei and Asuka, and OUR Shinji."

"Ready Pilots?"

"Yes, Major."

"Affirmative!"

"READY TO ROCK!"

"ALL LAUNCH!"  


* * *

Gabriel growled when three Evas popped out of the ground. The actions he enacted were... surprising, even FOR an angel.

First, he ran up to Unit 00, and thrust its face into a nearby building, then grabbed the leg and threw the giant about a thousand feet away, snapping the power cord in the process.

Then, he grabbed Unit 02 and tripped it up, then created a cage out of AT-field, keeping it down.

Boomstick stared down the giant. Shinji, seeing a challenge, smirked.

"Just gotta ask you a question I've been forgetting to ask some people," Shinji spoke, before charging forward with the titan, "JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM!"

Gabriel responded not with words, but with something Arael did to Asuka in the other Shinji's world.

MIND RAEP!

"Mind wha-" Shinji asked, just before his mind went blank.  


* * *

"W-where am I?" Shinji asked, brushing off his clothes.

Looking around, Shinji saw that he was in a bedroom. Bland, ordinary.

Suddenly the door opened, and a little girl walked in.

"You awake in here?" The girl spoke, "It's your first day of school!"

"Wait, what?"  


* * *

"Unit 01 has been immobilized!"

"SHIT!"  


* * *

Shinji, not entirely sure where he was, checked the school homerooms, decided to walk into the class he was assigned, scheming to figure out how to get back to Tokyo-3.

'Okay, I don't know where I am,' Shinji thought to himself, 'so try and keep a low profile.'

That's when he noticed something familiar about the students. He couldn't put a finger on it.

'Okay, there's something off here,' Shinji thought to himself, 'Not a problem.'

That was when the student behind him was asked to introduce herself.

"I'm Haruhi Suzumiya," the girl began, "And I have no interest in normal humans. If anybody here is an alien, Esper, time-traveler, or interdimensional slider, we'll talk."

'... YOU'VE GOT TO BE F*CKING KIDDING ME!' Shinji clanked his head on the desk in front of him.  


* * *

"Unit 01 isn't responding!"

"WE KNOW THAT, AOBA! DO SOMETHING!" Misato roared.

"I don't know what to do!" Aoba screamed.

"Neither do I!" Matoko added.

"The operation will now change components," Gendo spoke calmly, "Lanch MP Evas 1-5... and activate battle protocol 50."  


* * *

As Gabriel advanced, he chuckled at the thought. Shinji Ikari was stuck in a mindworld based on an anime he DESPISED, Rei Ayanami was stuck in an downed Eva somewhere, and Asuka Langley Soryu-Shikanami was stuck in a cage based on her own AT Field. Completion was in his grasp...

... or so he thought, as five pillars popped out of the ground.

The pillars opened up, revealing the MP Evas. And then... a song started playing over the loud speakers?

DUN! DUN! DUN Da-nananana-Na! TOKUSENTAI! TOKUSENTAI! TOKUSENTAI! TOKUSENTAI!

The orange one, MP 5, bent one knee, outstretched the other leg, crossed his arm across his chest, and outstretched the other arm.

"MP 5! EPSILON!"

The blue one, MP 4, on the other side, mirrored his pose in the opposite direction.

"MP 4! DELTA!"

Down on one knee, the red one, MP 3, raised his arms up.

"MP 3! GAMMA!"

On the other side, between Epsilon and the middle one, the green MP 2 did the same.

"MP 2! BETA!"

In the middle, the black one, MP 1, turned around, and peered throughout the arc his legs made.

"MP 1! ALPHA!"

"ALL PRESENT!" The MP Evas then struck a collective pose, "MP Tokusentai!"

Gabriel stared at the sight before him. Then ripped them apart.  


* * *

"... Well... crap," Gendo replied to seeing this.  


* * *

"Kyon! You moron!" The girl known as Haruhi roared at Shinji, "We're supposed to be finding mysteries."

"What mystery is there in the world?" Shinji deadpanned.

"PLENTY! Like aliens! Espers! Time Travellers!"

"Of which you find EVIDENCE for none?"

"SHUT UP!"

'God... she's just like Asuka...' Shinji thought.

That was when he realized something.

"You're not even real yourself."

"Excuse me?" Haruhi growled.

Then, Shinji bashed her head in, ending the illusion.

"Wow, that felt short," Shinji smirked, as his eyes started glowing red, "Now... Seraphim Gabriel... You're dead!"  


* * *

Gabriel walked further and further into Tokyo-3.

_It's over. My quest is nearly over..._

"That's what you think."

Turning towards the voice, Gabriel saw Boomstick running towards him, every green part - and his eyes - glowing red with fury.

"The battle TRUELY begins here," Shinji smirked, as the Eva roared...


	25. Ch 4 Act XXIV: WEIRDNESS!

Evangelion Next Genesis  
Ch. 4: You will (Probably) Understand  
Act. XXIV: WEIRDNESS!

Gabriel could figure out what was occurring. Everytime he managed to take down Boomstick, it somehow got back up. Every torn limb regenerated. Every armor ripped off suddenly reappeared. Even when Gabriel managed to rip off the head, it somehow generated another one within minutes, helmet and all!

_HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?_ Gabriel questioned, _NO MACHINE OF THE LILIM HAS THIS REGENERATIVE ABILITY!_

Boomstick responded with a punch so hard, it sent Gabriel flying into the air at speeds nobody has ever gone before...

Only to briefly stop when he hit empty space...

and to start again when said space shattered and sucked him into the void.

"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM!" Shinji roared, his mech roaring with equal confidence.

* * *

"Okay, WHAT the HELL was that!" Ritsuko asked, "That couldn't have been possible! He just sent the Angel all the way though space and time!"

"Hey, it's Shinji. He does what he wants," Misato replied, "Physics are his bitch."

"So is logic," Gendo replied. 'Seele was right. Then again, so was Freud.'

* * *

Rei, after getting her heavily damaged Eva 00 an airlift, sighed. Once again, the Third Child had dealt with a problem that could get in the way of Instrumentality.

Strangely, reports say the very fabric of time and space had paid the price.

"Rei."

Rei looked up to see the visage of Commander Ikari.

"Commander."

"Another Rei-Clone has developed a personality."

"Interesting news."

"However, she seems to-"

As Commander Ikari continues to outline the situation, Rei notices a duplicate of herself pop out of nearby airduct.

"- and superhuman strength. This Rei-Clone, codenamed 'Kei' seems to-"

He is cut off by a voice saying a single word, one that in minimality caries a deep, yet playful malice.

"Heeee~eeey."

"... She's right behind me, isn't she?"

"Yep," Rei nodded, and enjoyed seeing Kei terrify the commander.

"Life is good."

* * *

Shinji was spending another day at school, silently shouting insults at Mana. What Shinji wasn't expecting was Ramiel walking into his class.

"Hello, My name is Rami Ikari," Ramiel spoke to the class, "I am Shinji's twin brother and closest rival, and shall spend the rest of the school year with you losers. Form your own opinions about me, please."

Shinji blinked. He wasn't expecting this.

"HOLY CRAP! SHINJI DISCOVERED MITOSIS!" Kensuke screamed, "HE CAN BUD!"

And horrified at the thought, everyone ran out. Shinji didn't expect that, either.

"Wow, how predictable," Ramiel noted, smirking.

* * *

Mari rode the train into Tokyo-3.

"This time, I'm not getting interrupted by an Angel!" Mari noted, "Life is good."

What she didn't notice was a girl bearing more then a passing resemblance to Asuka walking by. And she was so absorbed in her own mind, she failed to notice the mindboast of the next Angel.

_I am the Angel Spy of God. My power is concealed within a form of hidden truth. I am Zophiel. I have come._


	26. Ch 4 Act XXV: YELLING!

Evangelion Next Genesis  
Ch. 4: You will (Probably) Understand  
Act. XXV: YELLING!

Zophiel looked around. Tokyo-3 was filled with activity. Everyone was out and about, with typical activities.

_How ironic that these Lilim have no idea that an Angel stands among them_, Zophiel thought to herself, _that they have no idea the spy of god is doing her duty. The Final Seraphim will be pleased..._

She didn't see the blue-haired guy running at him with a giant hammer until it was almost too late.

It would have been too late had Ramiel not have snapped a branch.  


* * *

"So you're saying that a Seraphim in human guise snuck into the city?" Gendo questioned, "And the Angel went to terminate her?"

"It wasn't the first time," Rei replied, "Ramiel, as he is known, has been known for being... unusually direct with attacks."

"Must be my son's genes," Gendo replied, "And... come to think of it, I always had a bit of a crazy person myself."

"It's called being 'Hot-Blooded,' Dad," Shinji smirked, "Not insane."  


* * *

The streets were littered with rubble and blood. Anybody would have seen one thing.

The fighters, the ones responsible, were not human.

"Surrender, Angel of Thunder," Zophiel growled, "Or die."

"I'm not going to allow you Seraphim to take the right of the True Angels!" Ramiel jumped away from a punch thrown by Zophiel, "Allow me to demonstrate what you can't!"

A familiar AT Field spiral cone formed around Ramiel's hand, and Ramiel's face held a very wide grin.

"AT FIELD..." Ramiel growled, "...MINI DRILL..."

"Not so fast," Zophiel outstretched an AT field, knocking Ramiel over.

"OWWW!" Ramiel screamed, "HEY! AT FIELD PENATRATION is like RAPE to us! GRAAAAHHHHH!"

"Facinating," Zophiel scoffed, "But I have a much more direct way of that."

"What?" Ramiel was confused.

Zophiel charged, smiling with seemingly crazy ambition.

Ramiel, intercepting a message from Zophiel's mind, realized the implications, and thought otherwise, jumping out of the way, allowing Zophiel to hit the ground.

"As I was saying," Ramiel leaped up in the air, the spiral appearing again.

"AT MINIDRILL..." Ramiel fell, Drill first, aimed at Zophiel, "**_BREAKER!_**"

Zophiel jumped out of the way... into a nearby tree, falling over, knocked out. Ramiel crashed into the ground.

Zophiel, the spy of god, had been captured and detained by Nerv, and Ramiel had a little excitement himself. It was the least expensive victory by Nerv, ever.  


* * *

Elsewhere...

Mari Illustrious Makinami was trying hard to find Nerv... and failing harder.

"Geez, how hard is it to find a giant base around here?" Mari asked.

Then she fell into the hole left behind by Ramiel and Zophiel's clash.

"... Why...?" Mari asked herself.


	27. Ch 4 Act XXVI: ZERUEL!

_**Evangelion Next Genesis  
Ch. 4: You will (Probably) Understand  
Act. XXVI: ZERUEL!**_

Zophiel sat in the corner of the cell she now called home. She felt imprisoned, trapped by the lower species she took the guise. The lilim, as the Angels called them, would pay for their insolence. And it would be her hand around the neck of the most troublesome of them all. She swore-

Then a fluctuation. Three Seraphim's overminds broadcast terror and horror, before they were silenced. Scanning the minds, she registered them and their cause of silence.

Barakiel. Angel of Lighting, and Seraphim Perfection of the Angel of Thunder, Ramiel. Crushed in the core.

Anael. Angel of Love. Reduced to lilim form to protect herself.

Arel. Angel of Fire. Pierced in the core and reduced to a lake of lifeblood.

Meanwhile, Ramiel sensed the same, but his paranoia was ignited for a different reason then Zophiel's.

"Zeruel's coming..." Ramiel growled.

* * *

As AlterShinji sat within the small room they had set up for him, he felt a very familiar feeling.

I AM THE ANGEL OF MIGHT! MY POWER EXTENDS THROUGHOUT ALL BEINGS WITH INNER AND OUTER STRENGTH! I AM THE 14th OF MY KIND! I AM ZERUEL! I HAVE COME!

"Not IT again."

* * *

At School, Shinji was bored, as usual.

"Geez, there's gotta be something going on," Shinji wondered to himself. Suddenly, an alarm went off.

ATTENTION ALL CIVILIANS, YOU ARE ALL REQUIRED TO STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND HEAD TO YOUR NEAREST SHELTER. AN ANGEL HAS BEEN DETECTED RAPIDLY APPROACHING TOKYO-3.

"Booyah," Shinji smirked, "This time, the Angel's mine!"

* * *

"Evangelions 00, 01, 02, ready."

"Okay, Asuka, Rei, Shinji," Misato smiled, "This is a standard Angel, not a Seraphim, so it may be weaker then most. So, good luck."

"Alright."

"Confirmed."

"Show Time."

"Evangelions…" Misato pointed upwards, "LAUNCH!"

As the Evas rocketed to the surface, Ramiel ran in.

"Wait!" Ramiel watched them rise to certain death.

"… Well, there goes my genetic bro," Ramiel sighed, "If there is any solace to knowing that they're fighting Zeruel, it's that they'll die along with me."

* * *

Zeruel stopped just as the Evas were emerging from the ground. Unfolding its arms, Zeruel readied for battle.

"An Angel with Toilet Paper arms?" Shinji wondered, "Odd."

Those words were the last he thought before Zeruel grabbed the Evangelion and threw him deep into the ground. Then, he followed the Evangelion, having made an entrance for itself.

"HEY! YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!" Asuka growled, hopping in after the Angel... only to be thrown back to the surface.

* * *

Landing in the Geofront, Zeruel made his way to the center... the holding cell of Lillith.

"He's heading for Lilith! NOT BY MY WATCH!" Shinji growled, generating a AT Field Drill and charging. At the same time, EVA 02 and EVA 00 were transported to the Geofront. 02 was armed with a giant rifle, while 00? An N2 mine.

"Okay, Soryu-Shikinami," Rei spoke, "This is my plan - you distract the Angel, I'll shove the N2 Mine into the core."

"Right, First," Asuka charged, blasting the Angel with the gun. Zeruel simply raised an AT Field. Turning, he saw Unit 01 - Boomstick - charging with a Drill made out of AT Field Energy. and Unit 00 charging with an N2 Mine. He merely swatted Boomstick aside, blew up the N2 mine and...

* * *

"The Angel just ate Unit 00!" Aoba screamed.

"I told you we were doomed," Ramiel growled.

Maya and Matoko rushed to the bathroom to empty their stomach's contents.

* * *

"I just don't understand it."

Zeruel stepped forward, arms looking about ready to impale the Evangelion.

"I couldn't stop him."

Zeruel's eyes glowed, ready to fire.

"I couldn't stop you."

Zeruel wrapped an arm around the Eva and ripped chunks of armor off, revealing a fleshy chest and red orb.

"You defeated Asuka. You took away Ayanami."

Zeruel's arm rocketed toward the core, ready to pierce it and end the mighty being's life.

"Give."

Said arm was grabbed and ripped off of Zeruel's body.

"Ayanami."

The Evangelion rose up, attaching the ribbon to his stump and regenerating the arm from it.

"Back!"

As Zeruel regenerated the ripped-off arm, the Evangelion unfurled giant wings of AT Field energy. Lasers fired from the eyes of the beast, but Boomstick swatted them aside.

THIS ISN'T POSSIBLE.

Zeruel charged toward the Evangelion.

I WILL NOT BE DENIED!

A fist entered the Angel's core, ripping out a blue-haired girl.

"Yeah, no," Shinji replied.

And then Zeruel devolved into lifeblood.

* * *

As cheers for Zeruel's defeat resonated throughout the Geofront, no one had noticed something emerging from the corner of the floor.

"So, this is Earth, huh?" A smirk spread across his face, "Looks like the third path of humanity... will be having a little fun..."

TO BE CONTINUED...


End file.
